Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1.

When Mike walked into the Family Video, the store was completely empty. No one browsing the tapes, no one at the computer behind the desk. He sighed in frustration. Lucas and Max’s intel had been a bust. Dustin wasn’t here, and he wasn’t answering on the walkies either. His anxiety peaked just thinking about Eddie waiting at his house for them to pitch up. What if he got there before Mike did, and his mom was the one to open the door? She’d for sure freak out, and they might not even get to play. It was their first campaign since he’d been released from hospital, and technically he wasn’t even supposed to be going anywhere that wasn’t home or work (he’d landed a part-time job at the local mechanic, the only place that didn’t seem to care about the whole being-accused-of-running-a-cult thing, and conveniently a place that Hopper had connections so he could keep a watchful eye). But tonight was special, a campaign that Eddie had been working on for weeks. The only person he'd given hints about it to, was Will. Mike smiled to himself fondly, thinking about how quickly Eddie had taken Will under his wing. Their party was finally back to normal, with some surprisingly welcome additions. Still no luck convincing El and Max to join, but at least Will was back. 

“Dustin? Steve? You guys here?” He thought he could hear faint voices coming from somewhere. The store room! He hadn’t thought to check there, but it was where the staff would chill out on breaks or quiet shifts. 

“Dustin? We have the campaign in like half an hour there’s no time to-”

Mike stopped dead in his tracks as he opened the store room door. He’d expected to find Steve and Dustin back there, chilling out and bantering about…actually Mike had no idea what their stupid little arguments were about, he tended to tune them out once they got started. He hadn’t found them arguing though. Instead, he’d found Robin tangled up and intensely making out with that red headed girl he’d seen her hanging out with a lot more. Mike couldn’t remember her name, something with a V, Veronica or Velma or something. They were full on making out, that is until they noticed the door had swung open. They jumped apart as if they’d been tasered, and he just stood there dumbfounded. 

In typical Robin fashion, she started tripping over words, trying to fill the silence with anything.

“Mike? Mike! Oh god, uh, this isn’t- what are you even doing here?! Oh shit shit shit. This isn’t what it looks like. Actually no that’s stupid it is, but, it’s not what you think! We we just-”

She looked over to the other girl, hoping she’d have a better cover.

“- talking! We were just talking,” the red head squeaked. Mike, meanwhile, could feel the blood rushing to his face, and he couldn’t get the image out of his mind. Robin. With a girl. He still hadn’t moved an inch. She gave him a pleading look.

“Please just- don’t tell anyone? Okay? I’ll give you whatever you want? You like movies, right? Please don’t tell anyone, even if you hate me now, I get it, and you don’t have to talk to me ever again. But I’m begging you, can this stay between us?”

The red head’s eyes were all watery. Mike had no idea what to say. But he didn’t hate her. He was genuinely more surprised that Max had been wrong about her theory that Steve and Robin were secretly dating. If they were, Steve would be so crushed. Weren’t she and this girl friends? Friends don’t kiss, certainly not the way they had been kissing. So did this mean Robin was…queer? He’d heard of guys being queer, and girls too but not as much. He’d heard it all his life and it wasn’t a good thing, especially being called a queer. It hurt a lot. He hated it, hated hearing it. But he didn’t hate Robin. Robin was kind of cool, actually. She was weird, like everyone else in the party, and even got Nancy to loosen up sometimes, so she was good in his book. He tried now, to summon the disgust he knew he was supposed to feel according to everyone else, but he just felt bad for her. Felt bad for both of them. 

“Um, okay. It’s fine,” he could hear the shock in his own voice, which sounded strange and far away in his own ears. He tried again, clearing his throat and trying to sound more calm. 

“I won't say anything. And I don’t hate you or whatever. It’s cool,” Relief washed over Robin and Vickie. Vickie! That was her name. Vickie looked more than relieved. Robin blinked back her tears with a sigh, and Vickie came over to Mike, squeezing him in a tight hug. Mike patted her back softly, he could feel her shaking with small sobs. She pulled away, wiping her cheek with the sleeve of her sweater. She turned around and beamed at Robin.

“You’re right. Steve’s kids aren’t so bad once you know them,” she and Robin shared a shaky laugh. 

“I’m gonna head home. Later Robby,” she smiled at her girlfriend, and with that, she exited the store, leaving Robin and Mike standing there awkwardly. He should say something. He wanted to ask her so many questions. But he didn’t want to be too forward, she probably didn’t want to talk about it.

“I like girls,” Robin blurted out. Okay that answered his first question. So she was gay. “No one else knows about me. Or Vickie. Wait, that’s actually not 1000% true. No one knows except Steve. And Eddie. Nancy sorta figured it out on her own. And now you know too, I guess.” That answered his second question. Wait, did she just say his sister knows? Ugh, he didn’t know how to feel about that. A third question occurred to him, one that he wasn’t sure he actually wanted the answer to.

“Cool,” he chewed his lip, a bad habit he had when he was nervous or overthinking. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Shoot,” Robin answered, awkwardly giving him finger guns. He shook his head to himself. No, he couldn’t. He’d rather not know.

“Uh, do you know where Dustin and Steve are? Steve was supposed to drop him at my house earlier, before we started with DnD, but he didn’t show.” Robin frowned, then chuckled softly.

“Seriously? That’s all you wanna ask me? They left a while ago. Dustin successfully blackmailed Steve into giving him a ride, to your house I had assumed for your little..Dungeons and Demodogs game that he wouldn’t stop blabbing about,” Robin said dryly.

Mike rolled his eyes. “Dragons. It’s dragons. You really are Steve’s friend,” he sneered. Robin  either missed his biting tone or chose to ignore it, because she was smiling at him.

“I really am. Shouldn’t you be going now too?” Mike checked his watch. Shit. There’s no way he’d make it back before Eddie got there, not even he raced on his bike like a mad man.

“You don’t by any chance have a car?” Robin shook her head no, but then her eyes lit up.

“No, but I know a certain someone who does, and it just so happens she’s coming by to pick up a tape for a hot date later, in just 5 minutes.” Mike groaned. He knew exactly who, and it made sense since they were going to the same house to wait for her to come.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll wait for Nancy. You’re coming too right?” 

“Of course I am, Steve and I have an equally hot date with some joints that-” her eyes widened as she realized what she’d just said.

“Er, I mean, we’re coming to keep Eddie company! Yes! No other reason.” Mike cocked one eyebrow.

“I thought Eddie didn’t sell stuff anymore?” 

“No, he doesn’t, but he does still have connections,”she said the last part in an over-exaggerated British accent. She was so weird.

“Whatever, just smoke outside, my mom will kill all of us if she smells it.” Robin saluted him, and the bell over the front door rang out. Robin sighed.

“Duty calls,” she said. They both walked out of the store room, and saw that Nancy was waiting at the desk. She frowned at the sudden appearance of her brother.

“Mike? What are you doing here?”

“Good to see you too,” he said. She smiled at Robin, who had Nancy’s tape ready to go. Robin flipped over the sign on the front door that announced ‘we’re open!’. Technically she should wait for Keith to show up for the evening shift, but she was impatient to hang out with Steve and Eddie. She could handle the mild tongue lashing from him on their next shift together.

“Alright, Wheelers, let’s get out of here.” They all piled into Nancy’s car, Mike managed to fit his bike in the back of her family sized wagon.

Chapter Text

2.

“At long last, we have our paladin!” Eddie gestured to Mike with a flourish as he descended the stairs into the basement, with Robin trailing after him. Everyone greeted them warmly. Well, everyone except for Erica.

“About damn time! You know nerd, some of us actually have a curfew which we respect, so can we finally get this started? I haven’t got all night.” Lucas groaned at his sister.

“It’s 5 in the afternoon, we still have time!” She rolled her eyes at him, while everyone else got settled, and Steve and Robin settled onto the old sofa in the corner, content with waiting for Eddie to finish up before they got their weed. They had plenty of snacks and each other for company when they got bored of watching them. Mike sat down in the only open spot between Will and Erica.

“Hi,” Will half whispered with a content smile on his face. Mike smiled back. It felt like things between him and Will were finally back to normal. No, better than normal. 

“Hi,” they shared a brief smile,but then they were distracted by Eddie’s usual antics. He’d already started things off and everyone was totally engrossed in Eddie’s theatrical opening monologue, laying out the new challenge the party was to face. For some reason though, Mike couldn’t quite focus. He stared at the board in front of him, zoning out. The question he’d wanted to ask Robin earlier was still playing on his mind, the one he felt weird about asking. 

How do you know if someone is gay?

“You okay?” Will murmured next to him, breaking him out of his trance. Mike blinked hard, turning to look at Will, who’s eyes were fixed on him with a hint of concern. Everyone else was still totally absorbed, even Robin and Steve were listening in, mildly fascinated by Eddie’s rich storytelling. Mike felt bad- he was distracting Will from their first ever campaign since he’d been back. He thought about the last time they’d played together. He winced internally, the guilt from the fight they’d had after still lingering. Will had forgiven him long ago, but Mike still felt he had a lot more to make up for. He forced himself to focus, and he tried to make the smile he gave Will a reassuring one. 

“Yeah. I’m okay,” he half whispered. Will didn’t look convinced, but he didn't have time to question it, the party was making their first moves. They both turned their attention to the game. But the question still lingered on Mike’s mind.

Before they knew it, it was 8.30pm. Eddie called for a time out. “To be continued, young adventurers!” There were groans all around, but they ultimately agreed to call it, and continue on the next Friday.  It had been heated, but so much fun. Mike had particularly enjoyed seeing the return of Will the Wise. He smiled to himself, watching as his friends all debated what went wrong, agonizing over their close calls, Dustin and Erica leading the charge on strategizing.

The Sinclairs were the first to leave, Lucas was in a state because he’d forgotten his promise to Max that he’d call her at 7pm. 

“You’re sooo dumped!” Dustin said between cackles. Lucas glowered in his direction.

“Maybe not,”Will offered after seeing Lucas’ scowl deepen. Ever the peacemaker. “She’s sleeping over at the cabin with El, so maybe they got so caught up that she didn’t even notice. That happens a lot.”

El. Mike’s chest tightened at the mention of her name. He’d been avoiding thinking about their break up. And the fact they’d barely spoken since. He was crushed that his speech hadn’t been enough. He’d told her he loved her, but she didn’t need him anymore. Not only that, but somehow he’d made things worse. He shouldn’t have brought up the painting, but he still didn’t get why she lied about it. Or why she got so mad when he accused her of lying. She got even more mad when he pointed out that she'd lied before. Like about the whole Angela situation. Unsurprisingly, that hadn’t helped a whole bunch. He didn’t even care that they weren’t dating. He just wanted her to feel like she could be honest. They were friends at least, right?

Mike sighed, realizing he was lost in thought again. Luckily nobody had noticed. Dustin left just after Erica and Lucas. Then the members of Corroded Coffin besides Eddie. After they left, Will and Eddie got into a deep discussion, Eddie complimenting Will’s past campaigns. Will was so impressed by Eddie, he could listen to him talk for ages. And Eddie could talk for ages, so they got on like a house on fire. Steve and Robin sneaked out back, Mike guessed Eddie had delivered and they had weed to smoke. Mike trailed after them. He figured since Steve already knew, he could ask his question to Robin now. It was a pretty chilly night, and Steve and Robin ducked below the kitchen window so Mrs Wheeler wouldn’t see them, and decided to go to the carport out front instead, where they were less likely to be caught. They sat perched on the hood of Nancy’s car, passing the joint between them. Mike walked up behind them, crinkling his nose in disgust. He hated that smell, it was too earthy, too heady. He didn’t know how they smoked that stuff without getting a migraine.

“Hey guys,” they looked surprised to see him, and a little guilty too. It felt wrong to smoke in front of a kid.

“Sup kiddo?” Robin asked. Mike didn’t have time to complain about the nickname. Will might come out here looking for him if he took too long. He took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“Hey Robin, I meant to ask earlier, how did you know you were, y’know, um, that you like girls?” Steve raised his eyebrows.

“You told him?” he said in disbelief. Robin winced in embarrassment.

“He kind of caught us?” Steve rubbed his forehead, eyes closed. How could his smartest friend be so stupid sometimes?

“Lemme guess, the store room? You’ve got to stop using that as a make out spot. It isn’t discreet Rob, I warned ya!” She grimaced.

“Yeah, so I’ve learned,” she turned to Mike, “and I didn’t know. Not right away anyway. I had these…mixed up feelings about the girls I was friends with. I didn’t really think about it much, didn’t even want to think about why just the thought of kissing a girl was better than actually kissing any boy. There was one girl, Tammy. And oh boy. I was a disaster around her. But eventually I figured the mixed up feelings, thinking about how pretty she was, wanting to spend every waking second with her…might be a little, you know, gay.” 

Mixed up feelings. Sounded like how he’d felt about El, except it turned out alright. Right? I mean, they dated, they spent ages kissing and it was nice. The first kiss was admittedly weird, it did feel like kissing a friend he wasn’t supposed to kiss, but he’d gotten over that. He hadn’t figured out what to do with his hands yet, and sure sometimes he only started kissing El when it felt like they had nothing to talk about. So they made out a lot. Normal relationship stuff. He’d tried to be a good boyfriend, he really had. But something felt off. He thought about what Robin had just said, and if he was honest, the thought of kissing other girls wasn’t all that exciting to him. But that wasn’t the worst part. The part he was really scared of, which was that he had mixed up feelings about someone else too besides El. But that doesn’t mean anything, he thought to himself. So what if he’d felt a wave of jealousy reading one particular part of one of El’s letters. 

Will is painting a lot, but he won’t show me what he’s working on. Maybe it is for a girl.  

He’d read it over and over again. He’d been so worried about Will finding a new party, he hadn’t even thought about what it would be like if he got to California and some girl was there, fawning over Will. He’d kind of just assumed that Will was oblivious to girls, and he had no reason to think he was wrong. He never said it aloud, but he felt out of all his friends, nobody knew Will like he did. But maybe he didn’t know his friend that well anymore. Maybe that’s why it hurt to think about it. Maybe that’s why he also couldn’t shake the guilt either. Everything was almost back to normal. Why’d he have to go and ruin it now, he thought to himself bitterly.

“Hey kid are you okay? You kinda zoned out on us there,” Steve’s voice pulled him out of the spiral he was in. Robin was studying him intently now, squinting hard and tilting her head. Mike swallowed hard. He didn’t know why but it felt like she was reading his mind or something.

“Steve, doesn’t Mike kind of remind you of Eddie? Like, look how long his hair is now!” Mike sighed in relief. She was just high. Both she and Steve were squinting at him, eyes growing more red each passing second. 

“Nah, do you know what’s even more freaky? He looks a lot like Nancy!” Steve announced this as if it were a revelation. Robin burst out laughing, gasping for air and holding her sides.

“Of course he freaking does, they’re siblings, dingus!” She keeled over with laughter, and Mike rolled his eyes.He glanced nervously over his shoulder.  He just hoped his mom wouldn’t find them like this. He’d had a hard enough time convincing them to let them have their unofficial Hellfire meeting at his place. 

“Hey, not that this isn’t super fun for me, but you guys are so obviously messed up, if my dad or mom find you here like this, I’ll be grounded for life. So would you mind, like, leaving?” He gave them a chagrined smile. Robin mimed a dagger through her chest, and Steve fumbled around his pockets for his keys.

“Well now that I only have to take Robin and Eddie home, sure. Mind getting Eddie for me? I don’t think I can ever get him to stop once he and Will get started with the nerd talk. Blah blah blah.” Robin seemed to find this hilarious too. Mike rolled his eyes, but obliged and ducked back into the basement, sneaking past his mom in the kitchen and his older sister cozied up with Jonothan on the sofa in the TV room.

Steve was right, Eddie and Will were still talking animatedly, about DnD and music from the sounds of things. Eddie apparently approved of Will’s taste, and Will had surprised literally everyone with his newly found obsession with heavy metal. Neither of them even looked in his direction when Mike entered. He cleared his throat.

“Uh, Eddie? Robin and Steve are heading out, they asked me to call you. Also they’re both high, so, I think you should drive. Thanks for tonight by the way,” he gave Eddie a sheepish grin. Eddie took a deep bow, which made Will giggle. Mike relished the sound, which it felt like he hadn’t heard in forever. 

“The honor is mine, good sirs,” Eddie threw his arms languidly over both boys' shoulders. Will locked eyes with Mike. He’s awesome, Will’s eyes said. I know right, Mike said right back. Eddie looked between the two of them, a sly smirk growing on his face.

“Well boys, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, “ Eddie winked at Will, ruffled Mike’s hair, and was about to book it up the stairs Mike had just come down, when Mike pulled him back with an apologetic smile.

“It’s probably better if you head out back, y’know, 'cos of my parents?”

“Right. Well, I’ll see you boys soon.” He left through the oft forgotten back door of the basement. Mike and Will were alone now.

Chapter Text

3.

Will turned around, wandering around the basement and taking in the fact that he was back in Hawkins, back here in the familiar surroundings of his best friend’s home. He idly looked through some shelves, eyeing the posters on the walls. He came around and stood just in front of the couch, where a faded drawing had  been taped to the wall. Will immediately recognized it as one of his own. His breath caught slightly, and his mouth dropped open a little.

Mike went over to stand near Will. He’d been watching him as he took it all in. The basement was pretty much the same. He’d been so relieved when Will stopped just short of finding the box he kept all of Will’s old drawings in. He realized he’d kept way more than he thought, from sketches he’d doodled on blank pages of Mike’s old notebooks, to half finished drawings of characters they’d come up with.

“You kept that? Mike, it’s terrible,” Will laughed, and Mike rubbed the back of his neck, laughing too.

“It’s not that bad. I mean, you’ve definitely done better since then,” he said. Will scoffed as he sat down on the couch. He looked up at Mike through his eyelashes, eyes flashing with playful anger, his green eyes darker in the warm, dim light of the basement. Woah. That look was not helping the mixed up feelings situation Mike was dealing with right now.

“Uh, excuse me, I’ve done better? You just said it’s not that bad!” Will smirked at him, and Mike’s heart thrummed fast enough to rival a hummingbird’s. He sat down next to Will, cool as ever on the outside. 

“And you just said it’s terrible. Anyways, maybe I should take it down,” he teased, but a worried look crossed Will’’s face. He tried to hide it, quickly looking down and fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh, yeah, I mean you can do whatever with it, it’s just a stupid drawing from when we were kids,” Will’s voice was a lot quieter. Mike frowned. He didn’t think it was stupid at all. In fact every time he came down here after Will and El left, he’d thought about writing a letter to Will about it, but it felt too random.

“Not to me. You drew it when we were in English, in Mrs Grabowski’s class. I was upset with my dad that day for saying we couldn’t get a dog, even though I really wanted one. He told me to stop being a baby, because I cried about it. And I was still really upset when I got to school, so you spent the entire fourth period drawing that dog. We even named it, remember?”

Will blinked at him in shock. He remembered it all quite well, he just didn't think that Mike did too.

“Yeah, um, we named him Einstein. 'Cos he was smart and your dad was, um-”

“-stupid,” Mike finished for him. Will’s face lit up, eyes glimmering the way they did when his smile was genuine. Mike couldn’t stop grinning either, couldn’t stop his heart racing, couldn't stop staring at Will. The air between them was thick, each breath Mike took grew faster. Will looked away, blushing, and breaking the tension. 

They hadn’t hung out alone like this in a while. Mike reckoned that’s why he was so nervous about tonight. He didn’t know if he should bring up what El said about the painting at all. It was their first proper sleepover in ages. If he did it now, would it ruin Will’s mood? He knew talking about girlfriend stuff had really bothered Will before. What if he got it all wrong, and El had been lying about it after all?

“Anyways,” Will said, going back to fidgeting with his hands, “I can’t wait til you guys see what I came up with for the next campaign. Eddie inspired me a lot, it’s gonna be awesome.”

Mike chuckled softly. Will’s face flushed even deeper.

“What? Ugh I probably sound like a little kid huh?’ He covered his face with his hands. Mike grabbed Will’s arm without thinking.
“No! No honestly I was just thinking how awesome it is that you’re back. I’m- I’m glad you’re back here, in Hawkins.” Now it was Mike’s turn to blush. Luckily Will didn’t notice because he was too busy staring down at Mike’s hand on his forearm. Which Mike was still holding, pretty tightly too. He pulled away quickly when he realized, and they both chuckled awkwardly.

A comfortable silence fell between them. Mike breathed deeply. Now or never. 

“So… I’m sure El told you about us breaking up.”He bit his lip, a nervous habit, as he looked over at Will.

“Yeah, she did. I’m sorry. I know you liked her a lot,” Will offered sympathetically.  Mike shook his head.

“It’s fine, actually I kind of guessed it would happen, with how distant she was being. I’m just glad she’s not as, you know, torn up about stuff, since Max got out of hospital.”

Will chuckled, “yeah, those two are inseparable now.” Mike felt his courage falter. Maybe he didn’t have to bring it up.

“What did she say? When you broke up? She wouldn’t tell me anything specific, but she and Max were being weird about it,” Will asked gingerly. Mike tried to read his expression. But he didn’t give away much, he just looked curious. Okay, here it goes, Mike thought to himself.

“She said she could tell I didn’t love her in that way anymore, even though I said it. She said she still loves me, but only as friends. Then she told me we should break up,” Mike hesitated.

“Oh,” Will’s expression was cautiously blank.

“And then I asked her if she regretted asking you to make that painting, if I still made her feel okay for being different or whatever,” Will’s eyes widened. He knew where this was going.

“And then she said she had no idea what I was talking about, that she didn’t ask you to paint it at all, according to her you wouldn’t even show it to her the whole time you were in California. So, I mean, I was confused. I didn’t get why she would lie. She got so mad that I said she was lying. Actually I think she’s still kind of mad? She barely talks to me, and Max calls me a jerkwad every chance she gets when she hears my voice. But I mean, El lied before right? Maybe she was just embarrassed about it or-”

“Mike.” Will had a pained look on his face. Mike’s heart sank to his stomach. This is what he’d been afraid of. They’d had so much fun with the Hellfire Club and now he was ruining it with all his girlfriend talk, upsetting Will. 

“Mike she- she wasn’t lying. I-” Will’s eyes welled up slightly, his hands curled into fists in his lap. Did Will just say what he thought he did? El wasn’t lying.

“I made it for you. I did. It was from me. Not El.”

Mike’s head was spinning trying to make sense of it. No. No that’s not possible. Because if that were true, then everything Will said in the van about El’s feelings…

“You lied?! About the painting? About El needing me, about me being the freaking heart, that was all just a lie? Why? I don’t get it, how could you?” He didn’t mean to snap at him, to sound so angry. Will shifted away from him.

“I- I don’t know. You just seemed like you needed to hear that, to know that you were needed by…someone.” Will’s voice trembled with emotion. 

“So you felt sorry for me? What the hell? That doesn’t explain anything. How did you know about El feeling like a mistake? She said to me when she left to get her powers back, she felt like a monster. So you just used that to sound like her? So I would believe you? That’s just messed up, Will. She doesn’t deserve that-”

“IT’S NOT A LIE!” Will shouted. The space between them on the couch suddenly felt as wide as the distance between Hawkins and California. No, wider. Mike didn’t understand. How could it not be a lie?

“It’s true, Mike. All of it, okay? It was all true. I do feel like a mistake, and you used to make me feel better and I- I couldn’t tell you! Any of it. Because I’m worse than a mistake, I’m wrong, I’m all wrong. And you wouldn’t get it. You have…no idea.” Will’s voice cracked as the tears finally spilled over. He wiped them away angrily. Seeing this, Mike faltered. He wanted to grab Will, stop him from crying and saying these awful things about himself. 

“That’s not fair. You haven’t even told me why you feel that way, so maybe I do get it, okay? I don’t know why everyone keeps forgetting, but I know what it feels like to be a freak. And I don’t care, just tell me. Whatever it is, it’s not true,” Mike struggled to find the right words. He could tell that Will was retreating into himself. He was getting viewfinder vision. Not about Vecna, like he did last time, but about him. He was screwing this up. 

“No Mike, you don’t get it, “ he hissed. “Clearly you don’t. I mean, you didn’t even try with Lucas, and all he wanted to do was play basketball. He just wanted to be normal for once. I’m not normal, don’t you get that? Not even if I wanted to be! I can’t. Maybe you know what it’s like to be bullied, but you don’t know what it’s like to wish you were anyone but yourself. So don’t fucking tell me you get it, Mike.”

Will’s words were paper cuts. Mike felt each one stinging over and over again. But he could tell Will regretted them as soon as they were out of his mouth. No. No, he wouldn’t be pushed away, they hadn’t gone through everything they had for this. Will just being there had made the heavy weight of everything that had happened in Hawkins feel that tiny bit lighter. Mike wasn’t going to let go of that. Not for one second, no matter how much what Will had said had hurt him. 

“You don’t mean that. You don’t. I know you Will. So just tell me. It’s me, okay? It’s me.”  He said the last two words forcefully, pushing through the wall Will was putting up between them. Will just looked at him helplessly, and Mike wished he could read minds like El could, see everything he was thinking. But he couldn’t. So he thought back to that day in the van, trying to recall every single word Will had said to him. And suddenly he didn’t need to read minds. Was he that stupid? Will had told him already, he’d put his heart on his sleeve when he drew one on Mike’s shield.

“She needs you Mike, and she always will.”

I need you Mike and I always will.

Oh. Oh. 

Will looked down at his hands, shaking his head.

“I can’t,” a single tear rolled down his cheek.

“Just- just look at me. Please?” He wanted him to hear him, to see that he understood. Will looked up at him through his eyelashes.

“Yeah?” Will whispered. Looking into Will’s eyes, all Mike’s daydreams swam in his memory. He’d missed him so much. It was all so confusing. How would he know if he was like Robin? Or Will? His eyes darted down to Will’s lips. He licked his lips, and swallowed hard.

He looks so pretty, Mike thought to himself.

It was a thought he’d had dozens of times before, that he’d let himself believe was just an affectionate observation he was making about a friend. But maybe…

He leaned across, closing the gap between them and wiping away the tear on Will’s cheek. Will’s breath hitched. Mike’s eyes flickered down, to his lips, for a split second. Mike looked up to find Will’s gaze laser focused.

He could say it, what he said to Robin, Mike thought to himself. He could say that it was okay. Why should it be different just because Will had these feelings? One small problem. Mike was pretty sure Robin had been right about mixed up feelings. He wanted to run out of that basement, out onto the street and just keep running. That way he wouldn’t have to look at Will. It was so much easier when he was in California, Mike could pretend. But having Will in front of him now, all he could think about was his contagious laugh, his amazing art, his gray-green eyes, how thoughtful he was. Yeah, Mike was more certain than ever about those mixed up feelings. 

“Will,” he tried to say it. He didn’t even know what the right words were. What if Robin was wrong, maybe this was how everyone felt about their best friend. He thought about what it felt like to hold hands with El. Nice. Normal. Then he tried to imagine what it would feel like holding Will’s hand in that way. That’s when his heart took off again, and his palms were suddenly incredibly sweaty.

“Will, it’s fine.” Will froze. Mike’s stare was gentle now, full of genuine concern. 

“What?” He blinked up at Mike’s warm expression. Why wasn’t he yelling? Maybe he didn’t understand after all. Please don’t make me have to say it out loud, Will silently pleaded.

Mike, meanwhile, was silently wrestling with an idea that had sprung into his mind. An idea that made his mouth go dry. There was one way to find out if his mixed up feelings meant anything.

“Will, can I..” if he said it, there was no going back. He took a deep breath and his eyes went again to Will’s slightly parted lips. His insides were in knots, but he took a deep breath and tried again.

“Can I-” he slowly leaned forward, and when he was sure Will wasn’t moving away, he asked breathlessly, their lips less than an inch apart.

“Can I kiss you?”

Instead of answering, Will’s eyes fluttered shut as he closed the distance between them. As soon as their lips brushed, it was as if the air around them in that stuffy basement turned to static. Every nerve in their bodies zapped with electricity. Will melted into the kiss. He was kissing him back, carefully at first, but they both grew more eager the deeper the kiss grew. Their fingertips brushed together as Mike slid his hand into Will’s lap. Will moved his hands up to Mike’s face, then his neck, then his collar, which he used to pull him in even closer. Their bodies pressed together slightly as Mike's hands trailed up to Will’s hair. Will’s brain finally caught up with his body, and when he realized what they were doing, he broke away from the kiss with a start, the buzz from the kiss replaced with panic. What was he doing? They both gasped loudly as he pulled away.

Mike’s eyes flew open, his pupils were blown out, and his face flushed.

“Woah,” he had a glazed expression, he felt dizzy, and he imagined this is what Robin and Steve must’ve felt like earlier. High. Like you were far away from your body, but also more lucid than ever. That was so different from kissing El. Not in a bad way at all. His high was slightly dampened by how Will had reacted. He thought he was pretty okay at kissing, but clearly not. Why else would he just stop it like that?

“Yeah, woah”. Will was just as dazed though. Mike noticed how pink his lips were. Did he do that to them? And he’d never seen Will’s cheeks this red. It was a little funny actually.

“Were you just…about to laugh at me?” Will exclaimed in an incredulous tone. “Are you kidding? You asked to kiss me !”

“Sorry, it’s just- you should see your face,” Mike snickered, and Will barely contained an eye roll. 

“Unbelievable,” he shook his head, and started to get up, when Mike pulled him back, a little too hard it turned out, as they both went falling back onto Mike’s side of the couch. Luckily Will put an arm out just next to Mike’s head, and stopped himself from fully falling onto Mike. He hovered above him, and looked down, surprised to find the other boy staring with a fond look. Mike took this chance to sneak a glance at Will’s slightly more muscular arms- something he’d tried and failed not to notice back in California, that Will had gotten fit, his shoulders and chest a lot broader. As Mike stared, he wondered if Will had neglected to tell him he’d taken up a sport at his new school. He reluctantly tore his eyes away to meet Will’s, and a smug smile crept onto Will’s face. Oh shoot, he’d been caught.

“Is there something on my sleeves?” Will murmured. Mike felt that zap of electricity again.

“Uh, nope, just, um that’s a really nice shirt,” he stuttered. So convincing, he thought to himself. He couldn’t help it, not when Will was flirting. Wait, was he flirting? It sure seemed like it, which was gross when other people did it. It’s why he hated when Jonothan was around; his sister wouldn’t stop batting her eyelashes at him , or smirking not-so-discreetly over dinner about some inside joke. Ew. But when Will did it, he felt a whole menagerie of butterflies dancing around in his stomach.

Will was examining him, still propped up above him.

“Hmm,” he hummed, deep in thought.

“What?” Mike asked, even though he could already guess what Will was thinking about. It was all he could think about too. He wanted to kiss him again so badly.

Will shifted and moved back to sitting next to Mike. Mike also got up, and he sensed Will’s mood had changed.

“Nothing. Thanks for…the kiss. You didn’t have to do that. I hope it wasn’t too weird, I’m sorry if it was. And don’t worry I won’t tell anyone, and I hope we can still be friends-”

Wait, was he serious? Will wants to be friends?! Maybe he wasn’t the best kisser in the world, but was it that bad? Friends don’t kiss, and Mike really wanted to kiss him again. Didn’t Will want to kiss him again? What else could ‘can I kiss you’ mean? Did he think it was out of pity or something? Mike sighed. Of course he did. He’d been so oblivious to Will’s confession, but this was next level. 

“Will. I kissed you because I wanted to. Look, all I know is that when you left, all I could think about was you. Even when I tried to force myself not to. I had all these feelings, feelings about you. It didn’t make sense to me. It scared the shit out of me. I was so confused, and scared of being, you know, a…” Mike trailed off, not sure if he could say it yet. But Will knew what he meant. He was scared he was gay.

“Plus I wasn’t sure,” Mike continued, biting his lip, “because of how I felt about El.” 

He frowned. “But I think maybe I was lying. To El, to you too, and to myself. I didn’t even realize it til El broke up with me. Until you were here.” Mike paused, worried he was saying the wrong thing again.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I like you too.”And it was that simple. If he didn’t have to think about anything or anyone else, it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Oh,” Will felt at that moment his heart might explode. Everything Mike had said… it was as if they were two jigsaw pieces, and the whole time they’d been trying to fit in with everyone else. Not realizing they fit together. They just clicked into place. As if he were reading Will’s mind, Mike slid his hand into his, interlocking their fingers.

“I never thought I’d ever say that to anyone, and definitely not to you,”Mike stroked the back of Will’s hand in slow circles.

“Me neither,” Will’s voice was soft, barely a whisper. 

They both stared at their hands in disbelief.

“This is crazy,” Mike said, an excited edge to his voice. Will tried and failed to stop a huge grin spreading across his face. 

“It is. It’s so crazy I’m kind of worried it’s not real.” Mike squeezed his hand in reassurance. It’s real. The air between them was buzzing again, they were two live wires, dangerously and deliriously happy. Far off in the distance, thunder rumbles menacingly. The rain came down slowly at first, just a steady drizzle, before lightning lit up the sky just outside the basement windows. Will jumped a little as the booming of the thunder grew closer. Storms were his only constant companion in the upside down. Unnatural, earthquake-like storms. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on edge, for his internal alarm to go off, the one that signaled that Vecna was close. But there was nothing but the sound of rain, no voice in his head, just the sensation of Mike’s hand - warm, reassuring-  enveloping his hand.

Mike had felt Will tensing up, watching his eyes fluttering closed. He went back to stroking his hand with his thumb, and felt him relax, but he hadn’t opened his eyes yet.

“Will, can you wait here for a second? Don’t open your eyes yet!” He didn’t wait for Will’s answer, just shot up hurriedly, almost falling over. But he’d just remembered he had the perfect thing to distract Will from the storm, which seemed to be bothering him. The mixtape. He’d made it right after Will had left, intending to mail it to him as a surprise. He’d let it collect dust down in the basement when things had gotten weird between them. But it was perfect. He knew Will would understand what every song meant. He put on the tape, pushing play, then sitting back down next to Will, who still had his eyes closed. He looked nervous, still a little tense. Mike looked at him adoringly. As the first verse started, his tense frown smoothed out, and a small smile tugged at the corners of Will's lips. Mike grabbed his face in both hands, pulling him in for another kiss. Thunder clapped overhead, but the music blasted over it. Bowie’s voice came belting through the radio: 

And we kissed, as though nothing could fall.

And the shame was on the other side

oh we can beat them, forever and ever

we can be heroes

just for one day…