Chapter Text
Zander looks up at Eraser, even though he is also an adult, he can’t help but be intimidated by the hero.
Respect was always something Zander valued, it’s still weird that Eraser is an adult but treats him like an equal.
Zander is the first one who speaks up after a long silence. “So if I had to guess I'd say you have figured out what is going on? I must admit that I don't know much about it myself. I never felt the need to, but it got out of hand.” Eraser nods and looks thoughtful for a second, trying to find the right words to say. “I believe so, however I am curious what you know about it and why you never tried to find out what all this is” He gestures vaguely, not sure how to approach the topic.
Zander softly smiles, seeing right through the uncertainty in Eraser’s eyes, but decides to give in anyway.
“I never tried to figure it out because I didn’t want it to influence anything and I don't think it was the right timing yet. something in me told me to wait, so I did. So far, I figured it’s some kind of personality disorder, most likely related to trauma. And judging by how hazy my memory is, I'd also say that there is some dissociation involved, am I right?” Eraser nods, slightly impressed how far Zander has figured it out from just logic and elimination. And the self control on listening to other alters on having to wait.
“Uh yeah, I have to admit, kid, I am surprised. I’d like to get you some help to figure it out for sure but my working theory is Dissociative Identity Disorder. it’s a traumagenic disorder, meaning you have to experience severe childhood trauma and a disconnected relationship with your guardians.” Eraser pauses, trying to decide if the next part was smart to explain but Zander did seem interested and ready to learn about it. “The child's mind is fragile, and if their guardian is hurting them, they don't understand what is happening. they’re scared for their life. so their mind splits and along with heavy dissociation a new personality or alter is formed, so the child doesn’t remember the abuse through the thick walls of dissociation.”
Eraser finishes his explanation, eyeing the kid with concern in his eyes.
Zander looks at Eraser and can’t help but let out a chuckle. “Damn, I was that close to the truth, huh? I never imagined I'd be happy about knowing I have severe childhood trauma.” He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, all of the stress and uncertainty being taken away in that one explanation. Zander adjusted his position on the roof, he’d been sitting still for far too long. but they let out a hiss as they brutally got reminded of the cuts on their arms.
Aizawa’s eyes shoot up, concern and worry clear in his expression. “Are you okay kid? It looks like you’re in pain, can I help?” Zander nodded and offered the man his arm. Eraser rolled up the long sleeves and mentally cursed as he saw the boy's arms. Cuts lined up, some were shallow, like they'd been put there in a haste of anger, others looked deeper, more calculating, intending to hurt.
"Jesus, kid, what happened? Why didn’t you say you were hurt sooner?”
Zander stares at the various cuts on his arms, he didn’t remember that. He wouldn’t do anything like that, Izu wouldn’t, so who?
‘We deserve it’
Zander’s eyes widened, what was that?! The voice Izu heard earlier too. Zander was so busy trying to calm Izu down that he completely forgot about the new voice.
He tries to focus his mind on it, trying to communicate with the new voice.
Being in front always made it more difficult to talk with the others, it sounded more muffled so the person in front wouldn’t get too distracted by talking.
‘Who are you? Do you have a name?’
Zander hoped they’d respond, he always knows everything that is going on, if he doesn’t know something…
‘Amaya’
The voice- no, Amaya says, their voice sounds broken, almost how Izu can sound when he is at a low point.
AIzawa was worried about the kid, he was staring at the cuts on his arms and not responding to anything, it’s as if he’s not fully there, but he’s not dissociating.
Zander hesitated, that’s a girl's name… they’ve never had a girl’s voice in their head, always male or at least non-binary in Ethan’s case.
‘Do you have any pronouns you like, Amaya?’
It couldn't hurt to ask, maybe they’re also non-binary?
‘She/her, please’
Amaya mumbled, sounding a bit unsure of herself, for sure having heard the panic in Zander’s voice. Very obviously making her insecure about it, she didn’t mean to cause any trouble for anyone…
Zander let out a sigh, okay this is different. He felt Amaya getting more insecure so he added on,
‘Not in a bad way. Just different, but it’s fine.’
Zander blinks a few times to Eraser’s panicked voice. “Kid? Can you hear me?”
Zander glances over at Eraser, he looks at Zander with worry and a bit of panic in his eyes. Zander clears his throat and takes a deep breath “I'm sorry, Eraser. I didn't mean to worry you. I was just trying to find out how this happened.” He gestures to his arm, looking a bit pained by the truth. Eraser picks up on that look and gets more worried “It’s fine, kid. But is everything okay? You look a bit worried over there.”
Zander thinks for a moment, he doesn't want to lie to Eraser but he is supposed to be the strong one, he is supposed to deal with it.
“Yeah I think so, it’s just.. weird, all of this. like, what do I do now?” Zander looks uncertain up at Eraser.
He just nods in response but looks thoughtful “you get therapy” He said like it was the most normal things ever, maybe it was but Zander couldn’t help but feel scared of the idea.
Zander slowly felt the familiar sensation of being pulled back into his head, He tries to resist but eventually his mind goes blank and he gets pushed back into the headspace.