Archive of Our Own ^beta

"This is getting us fucking nowhere...."

Blitz took one breath, then another, trying to calm himself, pressing back against the wall behind him and swallowing hard

His emotions were high, his throat was tight, and he needed to calm down before he said or did something he would end up regretting

"Well atleast I agree with that much," Stolas huffed back, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his forehead

"I think.... I think I need a break, Blitzy..."

And just like that, just like ice skittering down his spine, Blitz felt nothing but cold dread soak through his veins

Remember that thing about not wanting to say or do something he would end up regretting?

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea,"

Without a second thought, he grabbed his jacket from the coat rack and spun for the door, missing the look of shock and panic that flittered across Stolas's face

"Blitz wait-!!"

The door slammed, and all that was left was pain and regret for both

~+~

"Well~? How do they feel~?"

Alastor hummed low in his throat, taking another step and wrinkling his nose

"Not... good...."

Ahhh.... but catching sight of himself in the mirror.... now that was a mistake

If he had a tail, it would be wagging

"But they look phenomenal...."

Picking up one foot, his eyes shimmered a little with the way the heel, so sleek and studded with silver spikes, shimmered in the low light of the hall....

"Yeah they do, but I don't want'cha tryin'a dance in somethin' that's hurtin' ya' baby," Angel mused, one hand on his hip, trying to hide a laugh under his breath

Watching Alastor hatch out of his "egg" was equal parts amusing and charming, like watching a baby deer wobble around on brand new spindly legs

"I know, but-"

Cause there's still to long till the weekend.
Too long till I drown in your hands.
Too long since I've been a fool.
Oh yeah~

Cut off, Angel took a breath and quickly checked his phone

.......

"Sooo the other halves had a bit of an emergency and I've gotta run.... you might wanna also look out the window,"

Alastor tilted his head, stumbling just a bit towards the door

"Look out the window? Why would I-? ..Goddammit Blitz!"

"That's why,"

Taking a long, deep breath, Alastor dragged his hand down his face and grabbed his coat

"I'm going to have to learn to drive in these shoes, aren't I?"

"Better to just take 'em off sweetpea,"

~+~

"Ya' had a fight over fabric?" Angel asked in total disbeleif, lip curling as he set a mug of hot chocolate down in front of Stolas, who was still sniffling into his blanket

"I know... I know... it sounds just..... unbelievable right? That our relationship could end because of a fucking TYPO and FABRIC!"

"What was the typo?" Angel prodded gently, grabbing his own mug

"Ughh.... autocorrect filled in 'cream' instead of 'chiffon'... so when I wrote 'orange chiffon' it wrote 'orange cream'... he thought I wanted chocolates... a yard of mint green tulle and chocolates...."

"Oh Blitz..." Angel winced, honestly not sure who he felt worse for at that exact moment

...

That said, he did kind of lean towards Stolas's side, Alastor had had a few unfortunate nips taken out of his own ass because of rediculous sewing related issues before too...

Crafting was fucking stressfull alright?

"Right, and I just.... God I don't know how it escalated from there..... before I knew it we were screaming at eachother...."

"Well... honey.... did he say the relationship was over?"

"No, but he ran out! What else am I supposed to take that as?!"

"Blitz bein' Blitz, he's uh.... kinda a runner if ya' haven't noticed? Look, Al's on his tail, he'll straighten 'im out, I promise, that man ain't goin' nowhere, you got my word,"

"I don't know.... I don't know if I can-....."

Stolas paused, shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes in exhaustion

"Look, Blitz isn't stupid enough to cut a good thing like this over a stupid little argument, ya' gotta let go of of some of that anxiety and trust me," Angel insisted, reaching out to ever so gently rub circles between his partner's shoulders, Stolas taking the opportunity to lean desperately into the touch, laying his head against Angel's chest and covering his eyes with the heels of his palms

"You and Alastor.... I realize you've been together longer than we have, but you always seem so sure of eachother.... does that just... happen as a relationship goes on? Don't you ever still have that terror that it's the end?"

"Oh all the time," Angel answered casually, bringing Stolas to a confused pause as he lifted his gaze up towards the other man

"Seriously...?"

"Yep, that..... look, maybe it goes away for some people, but I don't think that's really like.... a prerequisite, 'cause you can never really.... know somebody, they way you.... the way you think you do or even the way you want to, it's not realistic to think that you could ever know a person all the way through, to their very marrow, even if it feels like you do, even if they tell you ya' do..... people just don't work that way,"

"You sound.... experienced....." Stolas observed carefully, earning a small shrug in response

"Well..... back when I lived in New York, I had this client who kinda.... he changed my veiw of people for the worse, not his fault at all but... see for a long bit, before I met Al, I still had this little stroke of believin' in true love and sincerity, that some people will never, ever hurt you, no matter what.... and I stopped believing that,"

"Until Alastor," Stolas posed, only to gaze on in confusion as Angel shook his head

"Nope, I believe Al could hurt me, sure he could, and it'd be hella easy too, 'cause the sick part is, the more you know and love someone, the easier it is for 'em to hurt ya', shit that might not mean anything comin' from a random stranger.... if it came from Al, it would tear me apart..... but.... what other options are there? To be totally alone? Ya' gotta take those risks and just pray for the best...."

"That's.... cynical...."

"Nah, it's realistic," Angel shrugged easily, earning a deepened frown from Stolas

"And this former client taught you this?"

"Yep, didn't even mean to, see he was a real sweet guy, shy and all, and he had just lost his fiance'- these two had a fuckin' fairytale romance, like, shit, Hallmark Channel could never- they had the meetcute, the fantasy proposal, the dream wedding in progress, they were building a life together, had their own home, their own business, some cats.... and then one day..... after this real silly little fight that wasn't really anything.... the other guy dipped, broke it off with my client over text- a two year long relationship, four weeks before the wedding, and wouldn't even fuckin' talk to 'im again, had his fuckin' brother and his ex come by to get his stuff, left my client gutted with no way to continue their business, had to cancel the wedding and everything,"

"That..... that's horrid...." Stolas breathed, aghast

"Oh yeah, true story though, and I felt so bad for this guy.... he.... he wasn't in love with me or anything, but he was so lonely and desperate for anyone to look at him warmly that he spent all he could on me, when I found out he was using his savings I was just... horrified...."

"I bet so.... what did you do?"

"Well.... never told my uh.... former boss this but.... I managed to scratch together a couple o' the girls at the club who had soft spots for romantics and gays like him, and we kiiiiinda orchestrated a meetcute with like... this bar owner's cousin or some shit, the last I heard from 'im he was goin' on a date and wouldn't see me again 'for a wile', that was... oh.... eight or nine months before I met Al? I never did hear from 'im again.... I hope he's happy somewhere, I hope he found somebody, our guy or not, just.... somebody,"

Stolas nodded slowly, sitting up a little and pursing his lips in a grimace

"Gods.... no wonder you're jaded.... that just...."

"Oh you ain't even heard the worst bits, this poor fucker trusted that guy so much and was so ruined when he left... I think sometimes.... I don't know if it's a blessin' or a curse that he was so willin' to try again, like good for him and all, glad that he was willin' to trust somebody again but.... sometimes.... I wonder and worry that he was just so hurt that he was gonna take anything if it meant not having another lonely night...."

Stolas only squeezed his eyes shut, he could imagine some alternate universe where he was that man, where Blitz was that sort of person, where he was left high and dry and alone and yes, he could see Angel's point, he would have been desperate enough to have anything after that, as long as he wasn't alone...

He, too, hoped that wherever that stranger was now, he was in a better relationship, a better place...

"....I understand your reasons for being so pessimistic but..... you can't really think that Alastor would ever-"

"Oh I think Al is capable of horrible things if he ever gets a broken enough heart or a bug up his ass, sure," Angel interrupted, clearly startling his partner

"...I mean, look," he added quickly, trying to spare any potential further damage to his lover's reputation

"I don't think Al would ever be.... ya' know, abusive or anything, o'course.... but.... I guess I've just known enough shitty people that I don't put it past anybody anymore to think of themselves first and foremost, and Al..... I love 'im, but I also know that he's uh.... hm.... tunnel-visioned? I guess? If it ever came down to me or...... his job, let's say.... I'm not so sure I'd win,"

It was something Angel constantly went back and forth with, kept gently poking at here and there, if he ever tried to make Alastor stop killing, would he? Or would Angel find himself on the other end of the butcher's block?

Would Alastor ever kill him? No, Angel didn't really think so

Could Alastor ever kill him?

Easily

"If your relationship is so uncertain then.... how are you always so secure in it? Or are you just an incredibly good actor?" Stolas asked, utterly puzzled

"Oh you've got it all wrong babe, I'm not insecure at all, Alastor is it for me, and I'm it for him, if anything ever happened to one of us, I don't think the other would survive, not for long, atleast, call it mutually insured destruction or whatever.... we're not really meant to survive apart, but that doesn't meant that someday down the line one of us ain't gonna get froggy and pull a trigger, hell it might even be me, I've had my..... moments....."

"None of that sounds..... healthy......" Stolas winced, earning a flat expression from the blonde beside him

"Baby doll...... look at me, do we really seem healthy to you?"

"Well..... sometimes yes? Usually, yes,"

"Huh..... good for us," Angel mused with a slow, considerate nod

"I'm not... look, I ain't gonna say aim for an unhealthy relationship or nothin' like that, but sometimes shit just is what it is, ya' know? Life ain't healthy, sometimes it's about what you've gotta to do survive, and even if one day he's what kills me, right now, he's the only survival I've got, and that ain't gonna change honey, not for you, not for Blitz, not for a billion stars in the fuckin' sky, if he ever hurt me... like.... irrecoverably hurt me, then I'm outta this shitshow,"

"....And yet people have called my attachment to Blitz toxic," Stolas exhaled, earning a raised brow from his partner

"Not sure if you're teasin' or bein' serious there, but I don't really care either way, unless ya' want me to punch somebody out,"

"No no, no punching out necessary, and I'm not trying to be hurtfull, it's just.... I don't know, all this time I thought you and Alastor were more...."

"You thought we were more Gomez and Morticia but it turns out we're a little more Hannibal and Will huh?" Angel concluded, earning a slightly confused look from Stolas

"I.... possibly? I haven't worked my way through Hannibal just yet...."

"'S'ok, you'll get it when ya' do, point is, for us it ain't just about bein' in love, it's..." Angel paused, shaking his head, not quite sure how to finish that sentence if he was being perfectly honest

"You... realize that this isn't comforting.... right....?" Stolas asked timidly, seeming to bring Angel out of whatever stupor he was in

"Sorry sorry... look, for what it's worth, I hope you and Blitz kinda never reach the point that we do, 'cause the reasons we're as glued as we are are more about trauma and sad shit than anything good or happy, I hope you two keep it to just bein' in love, and I don't think Blitz is ever gonna hurt you like this, if he does, I'll find 'im and crack a big fuckin' egg on his skull, and I don't mean the kind that comes from chickens,"

Stolas exhaled shakily, rubbing his face again

"Thank you.... I.... I appreciate that my dear....."

"No problem," Angel shrugged, wrapping an arm securely around his boyfreind's back and giving him a tight squeeze

"Now where's Via? At Loona's tonight?"

"Yes, she-"

"Unimportant, let's get you over to my place, 'least until our doofuses get back, ok? I've got a brand new video from this cosplay Youtuber I like that's just callin' your name baby, and I THINK I've even got some orange chiffon somewhere, if you can help me look for it,"

"...You're a lifesaver," Stolas exhaled with releif, allowing Angel to pull him to his feet

"Ya' know, for some reason, people keep havin' that opinion? Can't say as I know why," Angel teased, even giving Stolas a breif little pat on the ass, earning a giggle from the taller man

"Gee," he breathed, gently locking their fingers together

"I wonder...."

~+~

"You almost ran me off the fuckin' road dipshit!!"

"Oh, did I?" Alastor asked flatly, opening his car door and oh-so-carefully slipping out of the driver's seat

The shoes fucking hurt, they damn near brought tears to his eyes, but that was incredibly unimportant compared to what was going on here

"Yeah!" Blitz snapped as he charged towards the other man in irritation

"You kept fuckin' tailgating me and- why are you taller?"

Alastor only gave a vague shrug, allowing Blitz to glance down and completely lose his train of thought

....

Along with his logic, his reason, his ability to form words.....

"Were you just chastising me?" Alastor smirked, arms crossed delicately over his chest

"Uh...... those are...... certainly some shoes you've got there buddy...."

Well, Alastor hadn't intended to use the black glittery Pleasers and raw sexual attraction- apparently, given the way Blitz's eyes refused to budge any higher than his calves- to his advantage, but he'd work with what he had

"They certainly are! I'm so glad I'm keeping them," he practically beamed

Would learning to walk in them be a nightmare worthy of half his victims? Oh absolutely

Would it be worth it to cause irreparable brain damage to the masses? Oh.... absolutely

Clearing his throat, he chanced a delicate step forward, gently tucking two fingers under Blitz's chin and lifting it up higher

"My eyes are up here, darling,"

"....Goddammit, you and your fucking genderfuckery is too fucking powerfull...." Blitz grumbled, face as red as a cherry, much to Alastor's utter delight

"Oh I know~ To think, all this time I could have been using the fact that people constantly 'thirst' over me to my advantage and I never even realized it.... hm, shame that,"

"....You're a sick goddamn son of a bitch...."

"And you're just now realizing this?" Alastor scoffed teasingly, releasing Blitz- for a time, anyway, and meandering slowly over to a bench a few feet away, suddenly enormously glad that he had corralled Blitz to a rest stop for this little conversation

The shoes would be a fucking adjustment and if he stood in them any longer he had a feeling he might just pass out

"Listen, darling, if you're a very good boy and make this conversation fast, I might just send you back home to your boyfreind with a gift, but if you make me stay in these damned things for too much longer I'll just throw one of them upside your head and leave you with an entirely different ache to deal with, do we understand eachother?"

Blitz exhaled slowly, nodding and following suit to sit across from his partner, the temporary horny-induced-amnesia quickly draining away

"I.... don't think Stol wants me back.... certainly not with a 'gift'....."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Uh, because he said he wanted a break?"

Alastor..... blinked

"...I don't follow,"

"...Did you seriously never watch Freinds?! 'A break' is fuckboy code for ending it and then fucking around with someone until you feel like taking back your ex!"

"I thought it meant needing to stop an argument for a time to cool down and recollect your thoughts and feelings," Alastor pointed out blandly

Blitz opened his mouth to speak, only for Alastor to jump in again

"And are you certain given your partner's upbringing that he is as familiar with your concept of a break?"

...

Aaaand Blitz promptly closed his mouth

"....I..... am a fucking goddamn moron...."

"Possibly,"

Groaning, he put his face in his hands and all but screamed, nails digging into his scalp in frustration

"Great!! So I just walked out for fuckin' nothing and now he probably thinks that I'M trying to end things with HIM wich I would NEVER fucking do!"

"According to the text message he sent Angel, you're right on the money,"

Blitz jerked his head up, pale as a ghost, pure dread washed over his features

".....Noooo no no no no..... what did it say...?"

"Just that he thought you were ending things with him,"

"Goddammit!! FUCK!" Blitz screamed, throwing his head back and screaming into his hands again

"Don't worry, I'm already texting the blondes on your behalf," Alastor assured him, leaning back a bit on the bench, one leg elegantly crossed over the other as he poked at the phone

"Stolas really isn't a blonde, I mean it's silver so-..... ok wait, no, what if he doesn't even want me back now huh? I probably pissed him off to no end!"

"Oh certainly, but he still wants you dear, you two are a sure thing, stop worrying so much,"

"Easy for you to say jackass, you've never been through a fucking breakup," Blitz grumbled, burying his face in his hands

"Oh yes I have,"

.....

"...What?" Blitz asked in confusion, glancing in Alastor's direction, the other man still typing

"Yes, I have," he repeated

"Angel and I broke up once,"

Jolting a little, Alastor glanced up as the table shook under his arm, Blitz's hands slamming on it so hard that the bottle of water someone had left precariously sitting on the edge decided to end it's life and jump to the grassy embankment (read: just slightly off to the side of the concrete) below

"The fuck do you mean the world's most fucked up Cinderella and Prince Goddamn Charming broke up at one point?!"

"Sometimes relationships are like that," Alastor shrugged

"Angel left for..... hm.... perhaps three hours?"

".......I don't know if that counts buddy......" Blitz pointed out, almost sounding disappointed

"The way my heart ached it certainly did," Alastor replied seriously, finally setting the phone down and giving Blitz his full attention

"I've.... never experienced that sort of pain before.... the only other person who I've ever loved so deeply.... they didn't leave me by choice.... and when Angel walked out.... I wasn't thinking about our arrangement, or the murders, or the drugs, or anything else that, until that point, I had been sort of.... keeping in my back pocket, so to speak, as my gurantees that he wouldn't leave, I had spent so long- nearly our entire relationship to that point- feeling somewhat secure because I had all the power- without me, Angel had no home, no money, the drugs he clung to were detoxed out of his system enough to make him sober but not so much that he wouldn't fall back into them again and that would make him vulnerable and easy to scoop back up, and then ofcourse there was our deal,"

"Yeah yeah, if Angie turned you in you'd go Hannibal fucking Lecter on 'im,"

"Quite right! And until that moment I thought all of that was enough to not.... have to worry so much about the little things, you know? It wasn't as if I was some sort of ogre but...."

"You were more relaxed that Ang wasn't just gonna get a wild hair and feel like the grass was greener someplace else and ditch,"

"Yes exactly,"

"So what happened?"

"Angel got a wild hair and felt like the grass was greener someplace else and 'ditched',"

Blitz......... blinked

"....You're shittin' me,"

"Only a little bit,"

Blitz huffed, eyes narrowing in annoyance, but Alastor didn't give him time to sulk on it

"We just...... we had some rediculous little fight.... honestly of all the spats we've had this one was so unremarkable I can't even remember what started it, and it was a few weeks before Angel was set to move out so I suppose tensions were already high, I think he mentioned moving in with an at-the-time freind and I was.... not as tactfull as I could have been when I very vehemently insisted he not do that and then the next thing I knew.... I had gone out to pick up a couple of things from the store, when I got back, there was a note saying not to look for him,"

"...And did you? Look for him?"

"Oh ofcourse," Alastor shrugged with ease

"But it took me those three hours to find him, actually.... when I think about it, we may have been broken up for four, given the time it took for me to get home and then the time it took for me to beg forgiveness,"

"You begged Angel to come back?" Blitz asked in surprise, honestly feeling a pang of hurt- a shot of absolute agony straight through his heart- at the look on Alastor's face

"Ofcourse I did, it's Angel, what else would I have done?"

Blitz.... wasn't quite sure what to say to that

He supposed in the same situation, there wasn't a single line he wouldn't have crossed, a single damn word he wouldn't have said, to get Stolas back too....

"In the end it was all fine, Angel also apologized for 'taking the coward's way out' as he put it, just because he didn't want the confrontation, we agreed we were both in the wrong and patched things up and.... we've had our shaky moments since then but I think we learned alot from that incident that has since stopped us from repeating it,"

"What did you learn?"

"That we keep eachother alive in more ways than we thought, outside of the drugs and the night terrors and the constantly shitty mental health.... Angel has my heart, or the biggest part of it at the very least, and I believe that I have Angel's... and no matter what happens, what we do to eachother, what the universe does to us, how big of a mess we find ourselves in..... I don't think either of us could survive without the other, at the absolute and utter least I know that I can't survive without Angel, the pain I felt when he left, when I really thought that..... even if I found him, I might not..... ever get him back.... I wouldn't even wish that upon my very worst enemy,"

And with the plethora of enemies Alastor had and the pain he was so eager to inflict upon them, Blitz knew that had to be pretty fucking bad then

"I wouldn't survive that pain long term," Alastor continued

"I... don't go spouting this off but..... my willingness to maintain residency amongst the living has been spotty at best for the past decade or so, it isn't like I need much of a push to.... 'check out'.... but Angel has been keeping that door firmly shut since we met, and standing guard in front of it too, not that it's his job, it just sort of.... happened that way, those desires fade to nothing with Angel, I feel alive and happy to be alive with Angel, and don't misunderstand, I adore you, darling, and Stolas too, but-"

"But we're not your missing peice like Angie is, I get it, you don't have to explain," Blitz promised gently, earning a soft smile in return

"Exactly,"

For a few moments, everything was quiet, until-

I don't want to set the world on fire....

"Ah, as expected, your beau is more than eager to have you delivered back safe and sound, now shall I simply follow you home, or would you prefer to catch a ride with me and then fetch your car in the morning?"

"I'll follow," Blitz promised quietly, moving to stand up, only to pause for a breif moment

"....You don't really think Angel would ever actually leave you.... right?"

"I prefer to think that he wouldn't," Alastor replied, sliding back to his feet as well

"....But no one can ever be completely sure of something like that, and if he does..... well, like I said," Alastor noted with a simple shrug

Blitz felt a small pang in his heart, moving a bit closer and reaching out to gently wrap his fingers around Alastor's

"Well... you want a little advice on how to make sure Angel never leaves?"

"Mm? What might that be?" Alastor asked in surprise

Blitz looked up at him, smiling serenely

"Keep those shoes on,"

"I'm going to fucking end your existence,"

~+~

"Well, those two seem to have worked things out,"

"Thankfully," Alastor sighed, propping his legs up on the arm of the couch and reaching down to eagerly start undoing his boot laces- he'd like to say that he couldn't feel his toes, that would be a fucking delight right about now, but alas....

"They'll get better with this shit, they're still just babies in this relationship, much as they're in love an' all, they're still goin' through growin' pains, like we had to," Angel noted with a shrug, moving closer and gently swatting his lover's hands away, reaching down to undo the laces himself- just a tiny act of caretaking

"Oh I agree, and hell darling... to be completely honest our relationship isn't even all that old it's self, I imagine even we will have more growing pains to get through,"

"You're not wrong," Angel nodded

For a moment, just a moment, all was silent and still, nothing echoing through the room but the sounds of the laces being undone and Fat Nuggets snorting in his pet bed in the corner

.....

"Angel?"

"Hm?"

"I love you my dear, truly and endlessly, you do know that.... don't you?"

Sometimes.... Alastor wondered

He knew that he wasn't exactly capable of "normal human empathy"- as he had been told multiple times by.... others...- but he was capable of love, he did love, as strongly and as deeply as anyone

Sometimes though, he wondered if Angel really knew that

"Ofcourse I do baby," Angel smiled back warmly, carefully freeing one aching foot from the glittery nightmare before starting on the other- or, atleast, attempting to, only for Alastor to lean down and carefully cup his lover's face, stroking his thumb along the apple of Angel's cheek and bringing the blonde to a pause

"....Do you?"

Angel exhaled, fingers stalling as he stood up, leaning further into his partner's touch and bringing one hand up to cover Alastor's, giving it a light squeeze

"Yeah, I do honey, I know you about as well as I can, I think, and... I don't have any doubts at all that you love me,"

"...You phrased that very carefully," Alastor observed, head tilting just so

"What's going on in your head all of a sudden?"

"It's nothin'," Angel shrugged back, returning to neel on the floor and continue with the laces

"I guess sometimes I just..... get lost in us, and then sometimes I wake back up, and tonight I'm awake,"

Not liking how that sounded even a single bit, Alastor jerked his foot back, bringing a pout to Angel's face

"What-?"

"What does that mean? What is there to wake up to?"

"God, honey, nothin' to do with you, I promise," Angel sighed, reaching for the boot again, only for Alastor to pointedly yank his leg into the air, earning a slightly amused expression from his partner

"...Wow, do that burlesque baby,"

"Angel," Alastor snipped back shortly, earning an exasperated sigh from the blonde, who finally gave up and let himself flop backwards onto the floor

"....Al, I think we love eachother as much as either of us can love anybody, and I know for myself, I would never, ever do anything to hurt you, not even to save myself, I'm goin' down with your ship, if you sink, I sink-"

"And I feel the same,"

"No I know," Angel interrupted quickly

"I just..... ya' know sometimes I think you're so fuckin' lucky that I'm your first, not to sound like a narcissist, but.... you've been through some shit, it's just.... it's different shit than what I've been through, you ain't never been promised love and then been hit in the face- literally or metaphorically.... and what you've seen..... you've seen evil.... lots of it.... but I've seen.... people... I mean yeah we've both seen both but.... for the most part I... I've just seen lots and lots of people who aren't evil or anything, they're just.... shitty.... being shitty the way all people do... the way all people are capable of... it don't mean that I doubt you love me or anything, just that...."

"That on a dime I could become one of those people," Alastor noted sadly, earning a small shrug in response

"Yep, but I'm willin' to risk that, what other option is there? Bein' alone forever? Nah... I'd rather Bonnie & Clyde it with you until my number runs up,"

"What can I do to prove to you that I would never-?"

"Oh you can't," Angel interrupted quickly, earning a truly devastated look from his partner

Sighing, Angel pushed himself up a little on his elbows and moved up to place his arms on Alastor's legs- the one shoe remaining one having come back down by now

"Honey, I'm never gonna trust anybody so completely that I think the idea of them hurtin' me is completely and entirely off the table, no matter who they are, even you, but.... ya' know, sometimes... that's what love is, bein' willin' to leap even if you're scared that there are spikes at the bottom of the pit, bein' willin' to keep going even if you're scared it'll kill ya' in the end,"

"Darling..... that sounds..... incredibly unhealthy....."

"Oh my god you and Stolas need to join a club or something," Angel groaned, giving a full body eye roll before playfully pushing Alastor down on the couch, climbing over him and offering a warm, if not somewhat somber smile

"Al, I love you with my full entire heart, and I know you feel the same, you an' me are a packaged deal and I know that, I'm just not so blindly romantic that I think that there's a total zero percent chance that you'd ever hurt me- intentionally or not, physically or emotionally, but with that said.... I do have atleast some amount of confidence that if you ever pushed me over the cliff, you'd jump off right alongside me,"

"Always," Alastor wispered, gently lacing their fingers together

"I know that you've been hurt before, mon ange, and you've seen hurt before.... but.... I still hope that someday you'll start to believe that I won't ever push you off of that cliff to begin with,"

"Who knows? Maybe I will," Angel shrugged back, pressing their foreheads together

"But for now, I'm just happy knowin' you love me, forever and always or whatever Taylor Swift says,"

Alastor huffed, nose wrinkling a bit at the unfortunate reference

"Eternally, my dear," he corrected with a light kiss

"Eternally,"