Chapter Text
Sonar knows that, objectively, Coupé was a much better choice for the Z-Team.
Her and Punch Up are arguably the best duo Robert could ask for, having worked with each other for a long time, well before the Phoenix Program. Coupé is intelligent, Punch Up is charismatic, and together, they kick ass. If that’s not the dream team, Sonar doesn’t know what it is.
So, then, what reason could Robert Robertson the Third – how one ends up with a name like that is beyond him – have to keep Sonar instead of, you know, the lady with knives, rizz and all that pizzazz?
The day starts the worst for Sonar: sending a distress signal before he’s even out of the building, all because he let himself be seduced – not even seduced, just bamboozled – by Coop. Inexplicably, he ends up being the most dispatched afterwards. The more missions he’s sent on, man or bat, he can’t help but wonder whether Robert is looking out for him. Every other mission, it’s him – him, and maybe someone else, but always him.
Oh, and Invisigal. She’s also dispatched like crazy. Perhaps there’s something going on between them, as Sonar and Malevola have suspected… Either sexual tension or fiery hatred. If it’s the latter, it makes a lot of sense. They even let Robert’s supposedly ‘secret identity’ slip because of their screaming match.
Place a bat with super hearing in a room with two yelling assholes, even if a blender screeches insistently in the background, and Sonar knows more than he’d let on.
“Based on what I’ve seen today, you could never be Mecha Man.”
Maybe that’s why Robert ended up keeping him. He has leverage. He could do some damage to his reputation, have Flambae incinerate him or whatever the fuck, and then Robert would be donezo.
Or maybe he’s just stupid. He had to hire someone else today and, out of the Phenomaman and the local wet janitor, guess who he chose? None other than the stuttering, bumbling buffoon. Everyone instantly ridiculed Waterboy, so much so that it almost awoke pity inside Sonar. (Almost.)
Of course, there is that third, secret option. An option – a thought – much more dangerous than both of the other two combined.
Robert kept Sonar on the team because he actually values him.
Even now, as he’s walking away from his last mission, Malevola at his side, Sonar flinches slightly at the idea. It’s one thing to be kept on the team because of external pressure, but a whole other thing to be kept on because Robert trusts – wants – him. Because if Robert trusts him and wants him here, then he can fail, and he can disappoint him.
And, for some fucking reason, the last thing Sonar wants to do is disappoint this Robert Robertson.
“You good?”
Malevola can always tell when something is on his mind. It would be almost annoying, if she wasn’t his only companion, and the only one to visibly care for him. Sonar gives her a half-hearted thumbs up, and she rolls her eyes.
“Is this about Robert?”
Deciding to play dumb, Sonar relaxedly says:
“Who’s Robert?”
Okay, maybe not that dumb.
“You should ask him out.”
And definitely not that straightforward.
“I beg your fucking pardon, m’lady?”
“Wow, the ‘m’lady’ really softens the blow.”
“I try.” Sonar bows.
“C’mon, Vic, what’s the worst that could happen? The guy’s probably into men anyways. He and Flambae scream toxic exes.”
“That thought does not warm me. I cannot compete with that…” Sonar searches for the best wording. “That fiery ball of masculine energy.”
“Masculine energy? Flambae? Please—”
“He’s hot. Literally.”
Malevola shrugs.
“It just means Robert’s got experience.”
That thought warms Sonar.
“It’s either you grow a pair of balls, or Visi or Blazer beat you to him.”
Oh yeah. In all his fascination for the mid dispatcher, Sonar forgot Invisigal and Blonde Blazer were actually pursuing him, too. (He says ‘too’ as if he has made any moves on him… besides longingly gazing at him from across the office.) Matter of fact, Robert has been getting close with the two women himself. Word around the district was he and Blazer kissed; and the way he’s been talking to Visi in the last few days? The guy’s a player.
As if reading his thoughts, Malevola just shrugs again.
“He breaks your heart, I take his soul. Simple.”
“Well—” The arguments against him being a coward keep popping up. It terrifies him; he shakes his head again. “If I came onto him, literally or otherwise, wouldn’t that be an HR violation?”
“Since when do you care?”
Well fuck. She’s right again, of course. Just days ago, Sonar was excitedly following Coupé to see her boobs, and now he’s worried about proper work conduct. He’s not fooling anybody. He wants that white chocolate cookie so fucking bad.
After a saturnine sigh and a pat on the back from Malevola, Sonar puffs out his chest and clears his throat. Like a true professional, he puts a hand on his ear to talk into his earpiece and address his boss (and, like a true professional, he is about to make advances on said boss).
“Hey, Robbie?”
Attentive as always, the reply from Robert comes instantly:
“Hm?” A very slight pause, after which his tone smoothens out, as if he’s relaxed (but Sonar is probably making that up). “Oh, what’s up, Sonar?”
Shit. What is up? The sky?? (He looks up as he walks, just to check.) He hasn’t planned this far. He turns to Malevola for help, but she unfortunately seems just as confused as him.
“Preferably today, Sonar.”
Robert’s tone is snarky as usual, playful. It’s sexy. It only drives Sonar off course even more.
“Fffuck. Um.” He hits his head against his palm. “H-hey Robbie—”
“You said that already—”
“Are you free tonight?”
“What the fuck?” Flambae chokes.
“Wow,” Malevola snorts beside him, grinning from ear to ear. She clearly hadn’t expected him to be so direct.
“Don’t tell me you’re trying to get freaky with the dispatcher?!” Prism laughs.
“Ew, man,” says Visi as well, though she sounds, besides disgusted, actually annoyed – as if her own plans are being ruined by Sonar asking about Robert’s. (So he was right – or, rather, Malevola was. She was going to beat him to it!) “Keep it in your pants, horndog.”
“God forbid a guy wants to see his friend outside of work,” Sonar grumbles. But a weight has lifted off his chest; at least he’s asked. Now, if he’s rejected… well, he’ll probably still crawl into a hole and die, but he’s asked!
“Friend?” comes Robert’s voice, with that tone… God, that tone. What a tone it is, indeed. Sexy tone. “That’s…”
“Well—” Sonar attempts another wording— “okay, let me rephrase that. So, see, what I meant to say was—well, huh, it’s coming to me, Bobby boy, give me a second, Roberto Bert…”
He’s interrupted by Robert chuckling. Like, actually fucking chuckling in his ear. And Sonar is ashamed to admit that it sends a shiver down his spine. That’s how down bad he is for this guy he’s only known for, like, a few weeks. There is a shiver down his spine because – he cannot stress this enough – Robert is chuckling. What the fuck has he, esteemed Harvard graduate, come to?!
“You’re good, Sonar. To be honest…”
Robert’s voice has a smile to it, that smile. Sonar hasn’t seen it that much, but he’s seen it enough for it to be engraved in his memory.
“I consider you my friend, too. So, I’m glad we think the same.”
Sonar completely misses the array of ‘ooh’s and whoops from the Z-Team – his brain has frozen over.
He’s so fucked. He hadn’t even realized how bad it was until Robert begun speaking, and now he doesn’t know how to continue the conversation, or how to conduct himself at all—
“I think I’m free, yeah. Why?”
Panic sets in. Sonar turns to Malevola. Where am I even inviting him??
Malevola bites her lip in thought. “Iunno,” she whispers, “just, a bar, a club, something. Celebrate that you stayed and—oh, and say you’re paying. That’s very important. Guy’s fucking broke.”
“Errr…” Sonar gathers his thoughts. “Well—”
He takes a deep breath – everything comes out at once:
“Malevola and I were gonna hit a club but she just realized she already had plans in, like, another dimension or something soo I figured I’d get you out of your sad cell of an apartment and celebrate today’s success? Yeah? You buying this? I’d totally buy this.”
“I’m confused, why is this an excuse?”
“Well—”
“He wants you baaaaad!” Prism calls.
“FUCK YOU, I DO NOT!”
“You totally do—oh, what is it that he called you?” Prism’s laughter gets increasingly louder. “Batboner?? Fuuuck, that’s romantic.” She cackles even more. “You’re adorable!!”
Sonar stops in his tracks to scream:
“PERJURY. FALSEHOOD. VARIOUS OTHER FANCY SYNONYMS FOR ‘LIE’. ER, DECEIT, SOMETHING, FU… FUCK YOU!!”
Among Prism’s laughter mixes Robert’s own, and it’s that sound that gets Sonar to think clearly again, even if slightly.
“I’m fucking with you, Sonar, you’re good. Sure, if you want to go out, let’s go out.”
Shutting his microphone quickly so he can’t do anything stupid, Sonar whoops in excitement and fist bumps Malevola.
“WOOOOO YEAH BABY!!”
“I knew you had it in you!” Malevola grins.
She rubs his chin first – a move that always gets him to basically melt – and then hugs him as tightly as she can, her beautiful and gorgeous muscles flexing around him. God, she’s got some muscles. If the Robert thing doesn’t pan out, Sonar can always beg her to peg him. They know they’re both into that, at least.
Sonar turns his microphone back on and adds (much later than socially acceptable):
“I’m paying.”
Robert chuckles.
“Thanks, but it’s fine. I’m coming anyways.”
Sonar supresses a giggle.
“I know. But it’s on me, Robbie, my boy.”
“Okay… Guess I’m coming even more, then.”
“You’re coming even more already? And you haven’t even met face-to-face to go out yet? Damnnn, Bob-Bob—”
“Who was that? Flambae? Yeah, Flambae, shut the fuck up.”
“My bad. My lips are sealed, Bob-Bob.”
“They better be.” There’s a pause, as if Robert is checking something, and then he speaks up again. “Okay, shift’s about to end, everyone. Good job today. I’m really proud of you. And you, Waterboy,” he adds, just slightly softer. “For a first time, you didn’t do too bad.”
“Th-thanks—thank you, Robert—boss—man—thanks! Thank you!”
“Someone put that poor boy into speech therapy,” Malevola shakes her head.
“Bitch, we all broke as hell,” Prism scoffs.
“Besides, it’s much more fun to just laugh at him,” Invisigal pipes up, because of course she pipes up when human suffering is the subject. “Haha. See? Fun.”
“O-oh, o-of course. Funny… fun. It’s so fun.”
Waterboy is now much more dejected, and Robert sighs.
“I take everything back. Only Sonar and Waterboy did good. Fuck all of you.”
“Ay, what you treating us like that for?!” Prism gasps in offense.
“Not cool, Rob,” Golem says.
“Gayass,” Flambae accuses.
“You’re calling me gay? That’s like a homeless man calling another homeless man broke,” Robert retorts.
“OWWW, DON’T HURT ‘EM NOW!!” Prism cackles.
“You’re supposed to be on my side!!”
“Says who?”
“The rules of friendship or something, I don’t know! Friendship is magic, yada yada— Have you never watched My Little Pony?!”
“No, because I’m not a gayass. BAHAHAHH!!”
“I’m so done with you – I’m done with this team. Waterbitch in particular—fuck you, Waterboy, bitch.”
“Love you too, Flambae,” Robert says.
“L-love… you…?” Waterboy copies Robert with uncertainty.
“Whatever,” Flambae grumbles, “love you guys too—NO, FUCK YOU—FUCK! FUCK!!”
Flambae disconnects his mic amongst everyone’s laughter. Normally, Sonar would join in, too – who doesn’t love to see the Ego himself get humbled once in a while – but now, he’s too focused on that promise of a drink with Robert. The thought that he accepted his offer, and may even be looking forward to it—
Why did he accept it, anyways? Surely, Visi or Blazer would be inviting him out. They’ve probably reached that level in their so-called ‘friendships’ (better term for them: HR violations). So, why choose Sonar out of everyone?
“Sonar?”
“Saywhatnow?”
“I’m talking to you, big guy,” Robert calls out. “I said, are you coming back to HQ, or should we meet in the city?”
“I’m basically already back, dude.” He’s been walking the whole time, Malevola still patiently dragging behind. “See you in 5, tops.”
“I doubt you’d be the one topping—”
“OUT OF THE CHANNEL, PRISM.”
“Sir, yes sir, see you tomorrow, bossman, sir.”
“Fuck, they’re a headache.”
Sonar laughs. “They’re fun.”
Robert sighs, but ultimately agrees. “Yeah. They are.” Then: “Now hurry back, so I don’t have to be stuck here for longer than I already am.”
“Yessir.”