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  1. *

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    Summary

    “I don’t really have time to explain,” Peter said, anxiously, glancing up at Wade and then over Wade’s shoulder again. “I kind of need you to pretend to be my boyfriend, so can you please just kiss me now?” 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,990
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    1,671
    Bookmarks:
    242
    Hits:
    13,890
  2. *

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    Wade's moved into a new forest. He just knows that this is the place to settle down. There are no other wolves to ruin his fun, and plenty of prey and adventures to be had.

    If only a pretty omega rabbit would stop destroying his traps, then it would be perfect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,739
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    331
    Kudos:
    4,199
    Bookmarks:
    782
    Hits:
    67,712
  3. *

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    Summary

    Peter has kept his omega status a secret from the world since he presented. He gets invited to a mission with the Avengers on the week of his heat, and just his luck, his best friend/crush Wade, an alpha, gets invited along as well.

    In which Peter tries to keep too many secrets and the universe always seems to be against him

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,320
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    191
    Kudos:
    5,311
    Bookmarks:
    784
    Hits:
    70,966
  4. *

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    Summary

    Peter Parker is completely broke. He's tried so many times to find work, but between college and Spider-Man he hasn't been able to find anything that brings in enough to get by.

    A little past desperate he tries out being a cam boy, not expecting much and about ready to get kicked out of his apartment, Peter is floored to find out just how much strangers on the internet are interested in his body.

    On the flip side, Wade Wilson is pretty sure he's just stumbled across the most adorable guy in the world while looking for jerk off material. After a month of tuning in for every sexy little stream he does, the mercenary decides it's time to go track him down and get a private show in person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,109
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    125
    Kudos:
    2,226
    Bookmarks:
    314
    Hits:
    33,816
  5. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Wade decides to help out Spidey's friend Peter Parker by buying sexy photos of his beloved Spidey from him.
    There's no possible way this plan could go wrong.
    None.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,544
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    2,612
    Bookmarks:
    387
    Hits:
    24,882
  6. *

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    Summary

    Peter Parker sells his photographs of Spider-Man to the Bugle to afford his rent. Wade Wilson finds out and wants Peter to supply him with more... intimate photographs of their mutual friend. Peter can't afford to turn him down, but he never expected to find it quite as intoxicating as he does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,976
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    6,240
    Bookmarks:
    966
    Hits:
    60,103
  7. *

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    Summary

    “Holy shit,” Deadpool murmurs. He’s leaning heavily against Peter, his bulk pinning him to the brick wall. That wouldn’t normally be enough to keep Peter in place — super-strength, and all — but he has a gun pressed to Peter’s jaw, which does the trick. “Are you into this, Webs?”

    Or: Peter has a problem. For some reason, the perfect cocktail of fear and adrenaline never fails to turn him on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,169
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    6,300
    Bookmarks:
    661
    Hits:
    54,714
  8. *

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    Summary

    Actual, molten lava floods into Peter. It explodes into existence somewhere in his stomach and climbs all the way up to his ears. He’s on fire from the inside out, his ears ringing as his mortification mounts.

    “Hooh boy,” Wade says, for some reason still in the bathroom. “Super sorry about this, Petey-pie. I mean, I didn’t know what was going on in here when I walked in, and then when I did know, I couldn’t just walk back out—"

    “I’m going to kill you,” Peter hisses.

    Or: Wade keeps catching Peter in the act. Peter might seriously, actually die.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,324
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    205
    Kudos:
    9,792
    Bookmarks:
    1,360
    Hits:
    127,983
  9. *

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    Summary

    Peter and Wade get stuck in an unbelievably small closet. Then something else gets stuck elsewhere, also unbelievably.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    208
    Kudos:
    8,909
    Bookmarks:
    825
    Hits:
    140,998
  10. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Peter finally has a day to himself, and he decides to relax, maybe take out a couple of toys. But then Deadpool comes by and finds this remote on the counter and oh God the vibrator's still inside of him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    261
    Kudos:
    15,977
    Bookmarks:
    1,725
    Hits:
    189,437
  11. *

    Tags
    Summary

    After a particularly cold night, Peter Parker finds himself seeking a warm meal from the local soup kitchen. He is shocked to find that the person serving him is none other than his patrol buddy, Deadpool. But why is Deadpool here and what does he want from an unmasked Peter Parker?

    —-

    Also known as: The One Where Peter is Homeless.

    Now Complete. Thank you so much for reading!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,697
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    361
    Kudos:
    3,375
    Bookmarks:
    599
    Hits:
    50,697
  12. *

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    Summary

    Deadpool is hired by Harry Osborn to retrieve Peter Parker. But what seems like a simple job of rounding up an average college student is complicated by the fact the kid has insane luck at miraculously dodging Deadpool's attempts to kidnap him, and also, Spider-Man keeps showing up. Add to the fact that Osborn wasn't as clear about his intentions, and Deadpool starts to wonder if he should be going after Parker, or protecting him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,859
    Chapters:
    17/18
    Comments:
    776
    Kudos:
    3,550
    Bookmarks:
    826
    Hits:
    56,384
  13. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Spiderman wrings a promise from Deadpool: he won't go after Jameson of The Daily Bugle under any circumstances. Fine.

    He didn't say jack about the photographer, though.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,630
    Chapters:
    18/25
    Comments:
    662
    Kudos:
    2,221
    Bookmarks:
    398
    Hits:
    56,648
  14. 57

    Tags
    Summary

    Frustrated by his chilly reception, Wade Wilson seeks out Spider-man photographer Peter Parker to learn more about his elusive love interest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,687
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    648
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    12,211
  15. *

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    Summary

    “I already have an escape plan,” Deadpool says. He grabs Peter’s wrist, raises it above his head, and then digs his thumb into Peter’s spinneret.

    Or: Peter gets bitten by a spider, immediately runs into Deadpool, and later keeps running into him, but as Spider-Man. Also, spinnerets. Okay, mainly: spinnerets.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,348
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    228
    Kudos:
    8,540
    Bookmarks:
    1,282
    Hits:
    63,411
  16. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Deadpool has been hired to gather information about Spider-Man, but he is a fickle bug, and the job is taking longer than expected. Obviously this could put him at odds with his favorite hero, but there's a shit ton of money involved, and it's not like his client would be able to kill the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. Wade definitely has everything under control.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    148,433
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Comments:
    398
    Kudos:
    1,563
    Bookmarks:
    298
    Hits:
    52,954
  17. *

    Tags
    Summary

    "How do you know my name?" Wade asked, keeping his voice light as he cocked the gun. The boys body tensed at the click of the metal, sitting up he stared at Wade sombrely, his gaze slightly unfocused.

    "Wade, don't do that. put it away," he looked tired. His hair sticking up and eyes still red from crying earlier.

    "Better start talking baby boy," Wade said lightly, his voice sharp

    "It's me, Peter," the boy said frowning at Wade in confusion.

    "I don't know a peter."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,345
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    5,968
    Bookmarks:
    423
    Hits:
    58,962
  18. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Peter hovered his thumb over Wade’s contact, unsure of asking him for help. This was unexplainably embarrassing, but Wade seemed like the less drastic option than May or Gwen.

    When the sound of someone pounding on the door filled the bathroom, Peter clicked Wade’s contact and put the phone to his ear. Muffled sniffles pulling free of his mouth.

    It rang once, twice.

    “Hello?” Peter sobbed at the sound of Wade’s voice. “Um, hello?”

    Peter sniffled as he steeled himself,

    ”Wade? It’s me, Spidey.”

    “Hey! Wow, I didn’t think you would use this number. You ready to go on a taco date?” Peter wanted to smile at the sound of his excitement, but his vision was swimming and his sense of awareness was loosening.

    “I think,” he paused to hiccup, “I think that I’ve been like seriously drugged.”

    “Where are you?” Wade immediately responded. All previous humour was gone, leaving a serious business tone behind.

    “I’m at a party, in someone’s bathroom and the toilet seat is up,” Peter moaned, embarrassment weighed heavily on his shoulders. His first party experience was ruined already.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,919
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    4,528
    Bookmarks:
    354
    Hits:
    41,290
  19. *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Aw don’t be afraid little buddy, it’s okay, he’s gone”

    Wade almost cringes at how someone is talking to him, what the hell?! He’s not a defenseless animal. Wait. No, yeah, he is.

    Wade looks a little alarmed, stepping back as the man crouches next to him, smiling sympathetically “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. You okay?”

    Wade holds his breath, gives an once over at the guy, beautiful chestnut eyes, the adorable smile, the red face probably resulting from the cold and the brown humid hair stuck to his forehead as he holds his umbrella for both of them and yep, ladies and gentlemen if he wasn’t before, Wade is right now a defenseless animal because “Meow” Wade says wiggling what should be eyebrows “Honey, I’d let you take care of me all night long” Wade purrs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,988
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    2,006
    Bookmarks:
    314
    Hits:
    14,546
  20. 21

    Tags
    Summary

    Peter Parker is not fine.

    He works himself into the ground, doing jobs that he hates, and only ever feeling like he's doing nay good if he's dressed in spandex. Worse, traumatic events have made it clear that getting his loved ones involved in his double life only ends up with them getting hurt. So Peter Parker is not fine. But nobody has to know.

    Deadpool is hired to find out Spider-mans true identity, using the one and only Peter Parker, Spider-Man's personal photographer. Blissfully unaware that Peter has absolutely no interest in helping a deadly mercenary upend his entire life.

    Peter has plenty to learn from Wade Wilson, but isn't exactly willing to admit it, so what will it take for Spider-Man to finally admit he can't do it alone?

    ---

    I'm terrible at summaries. Give it a chance. Please. I've poured an ungodly amount of hours into the two dorks.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,021
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    175
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2,424

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