9-1-1, my heart is breaking (can you send a lover?)
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“Oh Buck,” Eddie sighs, almost-silently. “What are we going to do with you?”
‘Keep me,’ Buck thinks desperately, even as coherency struggles past his grip. ‘Please, don’t let me ruin this. Just keep me right here, with you.’
OR
Buck survived a tsunami, but it's this - the distance, the cold looks, Eddie - it's this that's going to kill him.
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He’s just some stupid kid that nobody wanted and everyone had to deal with, and he’ll always be that because he’ll never be Daniel. He’ll never be first choice, or even second, or even third. He’ll always be the last to know, the one that people lie to because he doesn’t know how to compartmentalise.
He’s that angry, stupid, childish boy that steal firetrucks and sleeps in someone else’s house and fucks his best friend when he’s upset.
Buck screams and screams and screams and nobody comes for him.
OR
Buck grows up angry, Maddie triggers the catalyst, and he's going to burn the whole world down around him.
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“Is that what the problem is?” Eddie asks, slightly too abruptly. “The shooting? Because I don’t know how many times I have to tell people that I’m fine. I don’t even think about it anymore.”
“Eddie-”
“Like, it makes sense that Ana doesn’t believe me, because she’s not used to me yet, but you should know better. You’re such a worrier, Buck. Don’t you think you would’ve noticed if I was horribly traumatised by the whole thing?”
He has no idea what the fuck he’s supposed to say about it.
How do you tell your best friend that him not being traumatised is what’s slowly killing you?
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Eddie is the one who gets shot. Buck is the one who has no idea how to live with it.
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It’s not Buck’s fault that he hasn’t stopped running since the day he ran from Hershey and never went back.
It’s not Buck’s fault that the only way Eddie knows how to handle the overwhelming-ness of his stupidly loving heart is to treat Buck like he treats Christopher - as someone to provide for, to look after, to dote on.
It’s not Buck’s fault that the lightning hit him, and it’s not his fault that he died for three minutes and seventeen seconds, and it’s not his fault that when he first wakes up, he looks at Eddie like Eddie is a ghost and Buck will never be able to touch him again.
Which he doesn’t, anyway. Touch him, that is. Not like he used to.
OR
Buck is doing just fine after getting hit by lightning until he's not. Eddie's there to help pick up all of the pieces, except they have sharp edges and all they do is hurt.
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It’s something that Doctor Copeland says in a session, actually, that kind of trips him up.
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Buck realises just how much of an impact he's had on Eddie's mental health in the past and resolves to do better. Resolves to try harder. It's not until everything else starts falling apart that he realises he might have overcorrected.
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They’d just been playing Monopoly for fuck’s sake. They’d eaten pizza. It had been a totally normal time. Sure, maybe Eddie was mad at Buck and sure maybe Buck was mad right back at Eddie, but they’d stowed it away for Christopher, and it had been fine. Buck shouldn’t have ruined it by being weird and traumatised. Having a bad childhood is meant to make him funny, not fragile.
Bobby lets out a breath and shifts in his seat, watching him with sad eyes. From out by the TV, Buck can hear Athena move around on the couch. “Triggers don’t have to be obvious,” Bobby says steadily. “Your past isn’t something you can defeat once and move on.”
Well, Bobby would be the one to know, wouldn’t he?
Buck clenches his jaw and grinds his teeth. There’s too much in him, all at once. Guilt exhaustion, fear, frustration. “I thought I was past it,” he muttered. “I’ve been doing the work.”
Bobby leans back in the seat, studying him. “You are,” he says, matter-of-fact. “This is the work.”
That’s so not cool, actually.
OR
Buck and Eddie have a fight. This causes a whole bunch of problems for literally everybody involved and somehow ends up in a love confession.
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