covertpartyhat
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Summary
“The Red Hood has been good for Gotham,” Robin continued. “Crime in Park Row decreased by sixty one percent almost as soon as you showed up, and that’s even taking into account all the crime you commit. Drug overdoses have decreased by twenty two percent in adults and seventy nine percent in minors. Homeless minors are ninety two percent less likely to—”
“Kid,” Jason interrupted. “Enough statistics. What the hell is this about?”
Robin slowly lowered the tablet with his powerpoint presentation and looked up at Red Hood.
“You care about Gotham,” Robin summarised. “Gotham needs Batman. Batman is missing and so is Nightwing. We need you to fill in for Batman.”
“You want me to cover Batman’s patrols?” Jason clarified.
“No,” Robin said. “I want you to be Batman.”
Jason bluescreened.
(Or: Batman and Nightwing mysteriously disappear before Red Hood has even started antagonising them, Robin is desperate, Gotham needs Batman, and Red Hood is Batman-Shaped.)
Series
- Part 1 of The Right Substitution is Key
- Part 3 of Unhinged and Unrelated Jason Todd Content
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,416
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 57
- Comments:
- 4,248
- Kudos:
- 14,522
- Bookmarks:
- 4,194
- Hits:
- 175,711
Bookmarked by covertpartyhat
18 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
The important thing here was that Jason was so, so bored.
“…do you agree, Batman?” Superman finished.
Jason gave a perfect imitation of Bruce’s affirmative grunt. “Keep us updated,” he said gruffly.
“Just like you keep us updated on what you’ve been up to,” Green Lantern muttered under his breath.
Everyone heard it, so Jason sent the Batglare his way, even though he was trying not to laugh.
“Err, yes,” Superman said awkwardly. “Do you have anything to add about your recent absences, Batman?”
“No.”
Jason cackled internally at everyone’s annoyed looks, but Jason was merely answering how Bruce would have.
“At least when Green Arrow skips meetings, he has the decency to make up an excuse,” Green Lantern said, giving up all pretences of not trying to start shit.
“I don’t answer to you, Jordan. The events occupying me in Gotham are my business.”
Jason was starting to see why Bruce liked being a dick to Green Lantern. It was kind of fun.
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The Guild of Gamers: The Tinker by The_Dark_Wolf_Shiro
Fandoms: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
24 Mar 2024
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Summary
Why would you think a shut-in would change his ways, just because he got superpowers? I’m happy right here in my room.
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Who did I piss off to end up as The Black Queen? by kurenohikari
Fandoms: House of the Dragon (TV), Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
01 Dec 2025
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"Is this some kind of joke?" I whispered in shock, my voice trembling as I stared at the reflection in the ornate mirror before me. Well, her mirror. The polished silver showed a face I knew all too well—just not my own. Pale skin, a cascade of silver-gold hair, and violet eyes that could only belong to one person.
"Who the hell did I piss off to become her? The Black Queen?" My words were almost a growl as I gripped the edges of the vanity, the cold metal biting into my fingers.
That's right. One moment, I was just me, heading home after another long day, and the next... a car came out of nowhere. I don’t even remember the impact, not really. It was too fast. No flashes of light, no angelic choirs—just darkness. And then I was here.
The next thing I knew, a maid was shaking me awake, her voice trembling with reverence as she called me Princess Rhaenyra.
Yeah. That Rhaenyra. The Black Queen herself. The one and only Maegor with tits.
Series
- Part 3 of I am Team Black, are you even surprised?
- Part 1 of Who did I piss off?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 636,355
- Chapters:
- 115/115
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12,857
- Kudos:
- 9,876
- Bookmarks:
- 2,349
- Hits:
- 770,283
Bookmarked by covertpartyhat
03 May 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
Winterfell was too quiet for the chaos Daemon had just unleashed. I could still hear the echo of his voice—loud, booming, and Gods-damned proud—as he declared himself the proudest grandsire in the realm while sitting atop a half-wild Northern horse, as if he hadn’t just crash-landed his dragon in the middle of my life. Again.
I wanted to scream. Or laugh. Or possibly throw myself into the snow and let the Gods take me. Preferably the Old Gods, since the Seven clearly weren’t doing me any favors.
Instead, I sat there, clutching my babies—my poor, unsuspecting babies—and stared at Daemon like he’d lost his mind. Which, let’s be honest, he probably had years ago.
“You rode Caraxes. Here. To Winterfell.” My voice was steady. My pulse was not. “Without stopping at King’s Landing. Even after being summoned by the king. Without waiting for a raven. Without—oh, I don’t know—thinking about how that might look?”
Daemon, being Daemon, only grinned wider and with his annoyingly confident way, he strode forward, arms outstretched like he actually thought I might hug him. I wanted to smack him instead.
“It’s called making an entrance, niece,” he said, as if that explained everything. “And look at them!” He pointed at my twins—my sweet, oblivious boys—like they were treasures he’d uncovered in a hoard. “You can’t expect me to wait another day to meet the future of House Stark. I have rights!”
“Rights?” My voice cracked. “What rights? Daemon, you don’t even have common sense, let alone rights!”
But before I could build up to a proper rant, he leaned in, peering down at Cregan and Jacaerys with an expression so ridiculously soft it made me pause. Then—then—he cooed. Cooed.
The Rogue Prince. The rider of the Blood Wyrm. The man who defied the realm and king without breaking a sweat—was cooing.
Over my babies.
Lysa and Benjen just stood there, completely unbothered by the fact that Daemon Targaryen had essentially declared himself their in-law and was now bonding with their grandsons like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“He’s got Rickon’s eyes,” Daemon said, tapping Cregan’s with one calloused finger. “And Jacaerys? He’s got the Targaryen chin.”
I wanted to cover my face with my hands, but unfortunately, they were occupied at the moment. “You’re going to get me killed,” I muttered. “Or exiled—as punishment for your antics.”
Daemon had the audacity to smirk. “Who’s going to punish you? Viserys? He’s too busy celebrating his grandsons and figuring out how to deal with my Unsullied.”
I froze. “Your what?”
“Oh,” Daemon said breezily, rocking back on his heels. “Did I forget to mention the army I picked up in the Stepstones? The Unsullied. Sworn to House Targaryen, loyal to the death, very fond of burning slavers alive. They are residing at Dragonstone at the moment.”
I stared at him, my brain short-circuiting. “Daemon. You cannot just collect armies like stray dogs.”
“Why not? It was your idea to save them after all. And you’re collecting fleets!”
“I didn’t collect anything!”
“Tell that to the Ironborn building ships in your woods.”
I wanted to die. Or kill him. Or possibly both.
“Speaking of fleets,” Daemon continued, completely ignoring my internal breakdown, “I saw the shipyards on my way in. They’re impressive. And smart. If you’re going to secure trade routes and defend the North, you’ll need more than the Vale and Driftmark’s ships. Dependance on anyone or anything is bad. This way, you’ll be able to stand on your own.”
For a moment, I almost forgave him. Almost. Because despite his complete lack of subtlety, the man was clever when it counted.
But then he ruined it. Again.
“And it’ll keep the Ironborn happy. They’re already carving out a niche for themselves, mending bonds with the North—just like you planned.”
I blinked. “What plan?”
Daemon grinned, sharp and dangerous. “You didn’t plan this? Rhaenyra Targaryen, the Queen of Light, didn’t see this coming?”
“What did you just call me?!” I hissed, cheeks burning.
He raised his brows. “What, you don’t like the title? The whole army seemed pretty taken with it during the celebration for the twins. I am pretty sure the court will love it as well. And let’s be honest, it’s better than ‘Realm’s Delight.’ You’re not exactly a blushing maiden anymore.”
“Daemon—”
“It suits you,” he said simply, cutting me off. Then his smirk widened, it was all teeth, blood, and mischief. “You light the way.”
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Summary
“What do you want, my son?” Talia asked him. “What do you truly want?”
And when Jason pushed aside his obsession with Bruce, the answer was so clear. He knew exactly what he wanted. He knew what he’d always wanted, ever since he was that little street rat who spent money he needed for food on making himself look clean. Because he’d needed to look clean and presentable to get into the public libraries. Because they wouldn’t have let a dirty homeless kid touch the books.
“I want to go to college.”
And Talia had made that happen for him.
(AU where, at the end of his League of Assassins training, Jason decides to go to Metropolis for college instead of going back to Gotham for revenge. Things spiral from there. The title is so sarcastic by the way. There’s nothing regular about Jason Todd.)
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,139
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Collections:
- 49
- Comments:
- 4,536
- Kudos:
- 16,520
- Bookmarks:
- 4,940
- Hits:
- 241,316
Bookmarked by covertpartyhat
08 Dec 2024
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Bookmarker's Notes
“Yeah,” Jason sighed. “But I forgot I already know Japanese.”
Lisa and Susie paused in their eating to stare at him. “You forgot you already know an entire ass language?” Lisa repeated.
Matt, who had decided he would no longer freak out about Jason’s weirdness and hadn’t faltered at Jason’s declaration, said, “You can still change your enrolment for another two weeks.”
“Yeah, but Susie and I are supposed to have a language credit,” Jason explained. He was a little irritated by the situation. He came here to learn new things and he hated wasting money on a course he already knew the content of. Talia could afford to pay for it, but that wasn’t the point.
“Switch to a different language then,” Matt suggested reasonably, pulling up the list of languages the university offered onto his phone. “What about Spanish?”
Jason shrugged. “I know Spanish too.”
“Huh, alright then,” Matt said, undeterred. “French?”
“I know French.”
“Mandarin??”
“Know that too.”
“German???”
“Know it.”
“Arabic????”
“Definitely know Arabic.”
“Russian?????”
“Yes, I know— Hold on. Metropolis University doesn’t offer Russian.”
“Yeah, they don’t offer Arabic either,” Matt said. “The list ended so I just started naming languages.”
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Timeline: Batman by CrimeAlley1048
Fandoms: Batfamily - Fandom, batfam - Fandom, Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Batgirl (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
05 Oct 2020
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Summary
This one isn't fanfiction. This is my attempt at an age timeline for Batman characters, focussing on the adoption and/or appearance of each of Bruce's children.
This isn't going to work on mobile because of all the pictures, so I guess it's computer view only.
This is a post-crisis timeline (1985-2011), so it stops before the New 52 and everything after that. Here are the events discussed:
1. Bruce's parents die
2. Bruce becomes Batman
3. Dick's parents die
4. Dick becomes Robin
5. Jason becomes Robin and is adopted
6. Jason dies
7. Tim becomes Robin
8. Cass appears
9. Dick is adopted
10. Tim is adopted
11. Cass is adopted
12. Damian becomes Robin
I will be explaining myself to the best of my ability, citing issues, and including panels.