poop jokes
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Growth (Ith Thomething Really Dithguthting) by apiphile for foxinmyhands, ofevangeline
Fandoms: The Used
17 Mar 2010
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Quinn Allman begins to discover unpleasant and debilitating growths on his joints. His friends are ... not especially helpful.
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I'm just going to apologize in advance for this. It's a self-insert-ish fic where GLaDOS decides to pop in and give me a souvenir. Is it a pair of long fall boots? Is it a portal gun? You'll have to read it to find out! I'm not sure why she did, but I suspect she's tired of listening to his constant yammering and wants to dump him on somebody. Why me? I have no idea. Also is this a crackfic? Because yes, it's completely ridiculous, if that's what constitutes a crackfic. I honestly don't know.
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A fanfiction written back in early 2010. Just some post-apocalyptic cheesiness, with a more positive ending for our survivors than they usually get.
Pulled this from my old fanfiction.net account, TheMillionthMind. Going to gradually port all my old works over here!
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This is commitment. This is love. It might be messy and chaotic and often gross, but it’s their lives and they can’t begin to fathom ever wanting to spend it with anyone else.
or
5 times domestic bliss wasn’t exactly what Yuuri and Viktor had expected it to be + the one (out of many) times it was
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Adventures in Babysitting a Werewolf by BookWyrm07
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV), MacGyver (TV 2016)
07 Jul 2018
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Stiles is spending the weekend babysitting his nephew Kyle McCall. How much trouble can an 11 month old be?
Series
- Part 4 of Werewolf + Phoenix
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"In the mountains, you see, especially when there are very little people around you, and the highways are more like faraways because there are none in a 20km radius, you expect to be woken up by what? Chirping little birdies. The sound of the morning breeze. The pleasant rustling buzz of leaves rubbing against each other softly. What you most certainly don’t expect to be woken up by is panicked screaming or the very clear and very unnerving sound of something crashing followed by the mysterious sound of something liquid gushing out."
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Puella Magi Morty Magica by mariachiMushroom
Fandoms: Rick and Morty, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
14 Sep 2018
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When a witch interrupts his Placement Day exam, Morty Smith is given the opportunity to become a magical girl and leave his ordinary life behind. Can he survive turf wars, witch attacks and his grandpa's schemes without losing his soul? Or will he fall into the dangerous allure of becoming a magical girl?
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For the prompt, "Venom is Eddie's big, slobbery dog who eats everything."
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Ladybug huffs when Chat Noir says she's overreacting. “Do I look like I’ve been turned into an akuma that…that…” She makes a noise of utter anguish. “That I don’t know, throws poop at people!”
(Set after 3.04 Backwarder)
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"Dear Richie, sorry for taking a hot, steamy dump in your backpack last month. Have a good summer!"
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After the Bowers gang plays a particularly disgusting prank on Richie, he enlists Eddie's (reluctant) assistance in helping him clean up the mess.
It's a pretty crappy situation. Like, it really stinks.
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Peter prefers to poop in private. As in, a public bathroom just will not due. Not for that anyway. He can pee in a public bathroom no problem but apparently he's 'poop shy'.
He thought he had it all figured out, his daily routines were working out just fine...and then he started the Stark Internship. Suddenly he's spending a lot of time with Tony and, well, thank goodness his new mentor is understanding and willing to help him out without giving him *too much* of a hard time.
**Each chapter will be a one and done story based in the same universe.**
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Encouraged by the occasional victory, Thomas continues chipping away at seemingly impenetrable walls with all the fervor of Alonso. There is one goal however that eludes even Thomas’ most valiant efforts; he has yet to see James really, truly, laugh.
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Short Fic! Flynn plays Easter Bunny and it doesn't go exactly as he planned. (Based in same timeline as Consequences Fic)
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The first of many...Shonen Dump, part one. Grab your Dragon Balls and get ready for some super poop humor, in under 500 words.
Series
- Part 1 of SHONEN DUMP!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 435
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 353
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Neal doesn't poop at work. Peter worries about it.
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A series of one shots where the NJ crew and his parents learn babysitting Frankie is a unique and educational adventure. Total fun fluff! Appearances by all the favourite, Tomsha, Ashley, Miller, Wozima, Danara, Burk, Slattery and little Frankie Green.
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(Firstborn) Shonen Dump by InspiredNerd
Fandoms: 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime)
10 Dec 2020
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In hopes of encouraging Zenitsu to return to training, Tanjiro offers to try some of Zenitsu's "gross" medicine in order to show that overcoming gross tastes should be no problem for Zenitsu after slaying the spider demon. He has Shinobu mix him up a harmless mixture of the ickiest smelling ingredients possible...and finds it to be less than harmless. You can guess the rest.
Series
- Part 9 of SHONEN DUMP!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,243
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 8
- Hits:
- 358
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While team RNJR (or JNRR? Nah, RNJR) is crossing Remnant on foot, Jaune remembers a weekly comic magazine he used to read that in no way represents or is linked to any particular real life Japanese publication that shares a similar title to the title of this series because it only exists in fan fiction set in a fictitious world. When he recalls a series of crude comic shorts involving young men and poop humor, that in no way represents or is linked to any fan fic series written by anyone, Nora and Ruby show him that girls can enjoy fart jokes, too. And Ren, well... just read it if you've read this much already and haven't left the page rolling your eyes in disgust.
Series
- Part 10 of SHONEN DUMP!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 867
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 205
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Two stupid boys, two stupid boys by Hawaiian_shirt_daddy
Fandoms: Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
16 Dec 2020
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Ferris and Cameron are bored, so Ferris tells his bestie some terrible rhymes to make things not boring.
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Did you fuckers miss me?
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Peter prefers to poop in private. As in, a public bathroom just will not due. Not for that anyway. He can pee in a public bathroom no problem but apparently he's 'poop shy'.
He thought he had it all figured out, his daily routines were working out just fine...and then he started the Stark Internship. Suddenly he's spending a lot of time with Tony and, well, thank goodness his new mentor is understanding and willing to help him out without giving him *too much* of a hard time.
**Each chapter will be a one and done story based in the same universe.**
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“So,” the guy speaks up, cutting the silence and Yoongi’s creepy staring to an immediate halt, “what are you up to this evening?”
Yoongi curses under his breath. “Shit. I don’t know. Literally up for anything so long as I don’t have to hear my neighbors trying to fuck each other to death.”
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the trials and tribulations of min yoongi, kim seokjin, and their horny neighbors from hell
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,389
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 134
- Kudos:
- 2,214
- Bookmarks:
- 529
- Hits:
- 16,920
Bookmarked by confetticanon
15 Jan 2021
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Jan 15 2021 / comment left
a gem, a must-read
““How long do you think they’ve been together?” Seokjin asks out of the blue one evening. Their restaurant of the night is a pizza joint in Itaewon that Seokjin claims is ‘authentic New York pizza’. Neither of them really know what authentic New York pizza tastes like cause neither of them went to New York, but Seokjin says they put macaroni on their pizza slices, which according to him is about as American as you can get.
“Who?” Yoongi says around his ridiculously large slice of macaroni pizza.
“Baby and Yeobo.”
“Hmm.” Yoongi thinks as he chews. The extra carbs are siphoning some of his brainpower along with the visuals of Seokjin in front of him licking the pizza grease off his plump bottom lip. “I’d say two months.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You know, like when you’re in those early stages of the relationship and you just can’t keep your hands off of each other.”
“I don’t, actually.”
Yoongi looks at Seokjin with a raised eyebrow. “You never were like that with your boyfriends?”
“I mean,” Seokjin admits with a shrug of his shoulders. He takes another bite and licks the cheese off his lip. Yoongi discreetly slides Seokjin the napkin dispenser before he seriously loses his shit. “We fucked a lot, yeah. But it wasn’t like the way Baby and Yeobo do it. Like...they’re gross and annoying, but they’re also gross and annoying in love. Not even a two-months kind of love.”
“You’re saying they’ve been together long?”
“High school. Definitely.”
“Shit. I can’t even remember my high school boyfriend.””
//
“They stopped to grab some frozen yogurt on the way back, and Yoongi wants to talk about how fucked up his own bowels are going to be when this spicy hot and frozen sweet mess in his stomach has the time to fully digest, but he has talked about taking a shit way too much for one night and would very much like to never discuss taking a shit for the rest of his life to come, thank you very much.
“I guess I’ll see you around, Yoongi-yah,” Seokjin says. He salutes Yoongi goodbye with his tiny pink yogurt spoon and then uses that spoon to quickly steal one last bite of Yoongi’s frozen yogurt. He’s been doing that the entire walk back home. Yoongi didn’t have it in him to stop him.
“I’ll see you around too,” Yoongi says, remaining cool and calm and not thinking about shit, literal or metaphorical. He would take a swipe at Seokjin’s frozen yogurt, but Seokjin’s frozen yogurt concoction is a sugary nightmare of gummy bears, crushed cookie crumble topping, honey and chocolate, and other things that would keep Yoongi up until the witching hour.
So, he just waves his little pink spoon in goodbye, and Seokjin waves his spoon goodbye, and they both wave their spoons goodbye like two awkward grown men would do when neither wants to be the first to really say goodbye. They keep waving them as they inch little by little back into their respective apartments until the last thing Yoongi sees before he disappears inside is Seokjin waving his spoon from out of the door crack.”
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Journeys tend to be a bit more boring than books make them seem. And boredom often leads young hobbits to do stupid things such as investigating whether elves have the same toilet needs as other races. Legolas does not make the investigation easy for them.
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Innocently enough, his dad asks, “Are you sick?”
“No,” Vernon says. He can’t make eye contact when he says it, because he’s realizing how actually stupid he is. This is the second time he’s had milk in a week, and for what? His vibes? The best vibe of all is not having diarrhea.